Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend's family for the first time. Unfortunately, I have diarrhoea and keep leaving extremely smelly farts around the house. I blame the dog every time, but I think they're catching on. FML
Today, I've been on the verge of throwing up all day. Why? My dog is intolerant to grain, but grain-free dog food causes heart problems so she can't have that. Now our lives are filled with nasty farts and Hershey squirts with no end in sight. It's a rough time for us both. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
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Top comments
menja 29
Well, how about you stop eating dairy products then?
WCARlover 35
I'm sorry, but picturing this going down is just hilarious. Your puppy will run out of poop eventually lol
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Comments (81)
GhostFox 34
To help with remnant 'potty' odor, fill a water spray bottle with a 1:1 ratio of white vinegar to water. It destroys the scent markers that will make the puppy think those are places they can do the deed down the road. Do NOT use ammonia- it will make her think it is a bathroom location even more so!
enginsteve 17
In Russia, puppy train you!
mishwarner 14
I'm assuming that means you eat/drink dairy knowing full well the impact it has on your body? YDI
Xion0014 20
Take a walk outside?
dragon91 2
so use this to u r advantage sit outside when u r dog shots cause of you then reward it go in if it sits inside reprimand it. quicker training
whiteman23 6
well then, I mean this is just a thought, but since you shouldn't be investing lactose, again just a thought, DON'T INGEST LACTOSE. is it really that hard?
latenerd 11
Sorry, that sucks. But try to use it to your advantage if you can, and get her to "go" when she's outside.
shadowshalf 8
Stick her nose in her own poop. that's how you potty train dogs
18rhunt 16
YDI For eating lactose
Kaitlyne Townsend 12
imagine that but if your mother was there and she was lactose intolerant aswell, that is my life RN