Love, Health and Holidays: Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend's family for the first...

By Anonymous - 17/10/2018 17:30

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend's family for the first time. Unfortunately, I have diarrhoea and keep leaving extremely smelly farts around the house. I blame the dog every time, but I think they're catching on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 543

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Same thing different taste

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 152

You deserved it 2 537

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 707

You deserved it 2 203

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 118

You deserved it 4 857

By Where is it coming from?! - 10/06/2014 02:46 - United States - Brightwood

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 993

You deserved it 6 940

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 369

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 128

You deserved it 4 889

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 971

You deserved it 7 927

Chain reaction

By gassy - 15/07/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 334

You deserved it 4 035

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 6 October 2018 16:33

Get some meds. And stop blaming the poor dog.

Alex Van Meter 6

Wednesday 17 October 2018 18:31

I don't understand why people are so uptight about farts. Yes it's embarrassing but everyone gets angry stomachs and everyone farts. Fact of life.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 6 October 2018 16:33

Get some meds. And stop blaming the poor dog.

John Nemeth 14

Wednesday 17 October 2018 18:13

Not a Very good first impression.... Especially since it’s a proven fact that dogs can’t fart... just kidding.... or.. am I? 🙃

Alex Van Meter 6

Wednesday 17 October 2018 18:31

I don't understand why people are so uptight about farts. Yes it's embarrassing but everyone gets angry stomachs and everyone farts. Fact of life.

Shawnie Gallant 24

Wednesday 17 October 2018 18:54

Holy crap, tell them you’re sick. They won’t care.

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Wednesday 17 October 2018 19:05

No FML YET. They didn't accuse you yet. Wait till they do, then it will be a FML. Right now, all they are thinking to themselves is that their son is dating a liar, but it has not went public yet.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 17 October 2018 19:29

You’re spelling it wrong! If we’ve learned anything this week, it’s cats get diarrhoea and dogs get diarrhea. Your mistake has probably clued in the family of your deception.

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 17 October 2018 21:49

I believe that's the British spelling.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 18 October 2018 18:50

I know. It’s just that earlier this week there was a story about a cat with the British spelling followed by a dog with the American spelling. I thought it would be funny to think the spelling was based on the species.