Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML
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Top comments
username53001 7
The Cheerios sent a message back. It says oooooo.
DocBastard 40
Wow, who pissed in her Cheerios? What, too soon?
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Comments (45)
LittleSushi_fml 13
You can't hide from cheerios.
EvilLittleMan 23
Maybe she's missing the Honey Nut.
Kriositivity 7
Damn those Cheerios, they're not like Weeta-Bix.
Crystal55621 19
You're that one person in horror movies who always falls when they're trying to get away.
kaitlynanne33 5
sounds like someone's having they're monthly visit from Mother Nature
Robbieisadowg 16
I know from experience, NEVER joke about periods.
worldclassrager 41
Cussing out Cheeros? That should be illegal....
Huddisher 10
Tourettes mom
Brak_Spaceman 19
You shouldn't sneak around.
Eminemfan7 6
Haha I can just imagine you slowly backing out...
leloxive 4
Lol, guess it's time to switch cereal brands.