Love: Catchy turn of phrase

Catchy turn of phrase

By boinger - 03/06/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 361

You deserved it 61 107

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Same thing different taste

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 816

You deserved it 1 285

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 240

You deserved it 7 140

By Teddy Bear - 12/01/2019 16:00

Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 564

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 102

You deserved it 5 871

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 19:00 - Ireland - Navan

Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 230

You deserved it 1 148

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 755

You deserved it 30 567

Honesty

By bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 468

You deserved it 35 400

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 402

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 14:00

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 563

You deserved it 795

By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:55 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 602

You deserved it 3 315

CLINTRONxD 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious

ohmygawdz 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:07

I bet you do, you little boinger you.

Comments

The_Master 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:14

yeah, i can see how that can be taken in a totally negative way...wtg on the wording. YDI for sure, for being a kid-toucher...

wholegrain 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:14

I bet that sounded pretty odd

takran 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:18

Why don't you have a seat right over there...

cruzersgirl2213 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 21:04

"Have a seat, right over there." OMG. I laughed so hard at this. You're a f*ing genious!

_krystallynn_ 11

Monday 31 December 2012 8:25

i dont get it.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Monday 27 July 2015 17:05

@292- To catch a predator with Chris Hansen. That's what he says to the pedophiles that show up to have sex with a 13-year-old

rockinbalr14 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:21

You owned yourself.xD

bluegab123 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:21

Hahaha

xmcr4lifex 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:24

:P that's ok people always say stupid thingsXD

bishoprsv2 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:25

Aw come on! Who moderated this crap. Worst FML ever!!

littlemisslee 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:25

You have a condition known as verbal dyslexia. when you try to say what's in your head, but word it wrong. That, or you don't think before you speak.

twinscrplayer6 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 4:16

or it was just a Frudian slip or w/e. just because he accidently said something doesn't meen she automatically has some sort of condition so stfu.

pointedancer96 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:26

CREEPER?!?!?! :(

TasteMyInk 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:26

Haahah oh man. That's priceless!

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Roommate Music Singing TV shows Dogs Animals Relatable Sports Weird Love Cheating AITA Death Awkward Annoying Family Health Doctor Capitalism Money Work Drunk Concert Friends Coworkers Pranks Sextoys Intimacy

The Top

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "Look at this!" then contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "Stop making fun of your sister!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 871

You deserved it 5 395

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 226

You deserved it 3 536

The Top

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 139

You deserved it 5 335

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 304

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 53

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 657

You deserved it 3 751

Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 1 909

Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 171

You deserved it 188

Catchy turn of phrase

Same thing different taste

No

Honesty

She definitely heard

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