By bad dad - 05/06/2019 06:00
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ok so they haven't been dating long, but think of it from the girlfriend's perspective, since it's a new relationship she might feel a bit insecure in letting her new boyfriend go on an outing with his ex & kids. if you were dating someone would you want them hanging out with their ex? most people i hear aren't ok with it, some are though and more people should be okay with their significant other hanging out with ex's or friends of the opposite gender. got to have some trust in your partner. your ex though should have re-assured his new girlfriend or at least not stand you up. and he definitely should make time to be with his kids.
what do you mean "letting her new boyfriend go on an outing with his ex & kids"? You don't have a say in who your partner goes on outings with, and even less if it involves his kids, and even less when you've only been together a short while. Although I would question the wisdom of still trying to do stuff as a "family" once the parents have split, why pretend that all is well? And I would also question the length of the relationship. Maybe he was banging the GF before the split too.
@Rebelwithmouseyhair I can tell you that Because I have a step-son, and after admittedly a lot of work on the adults' sites, we now enjoy hanging out as two sets of parents with him. They're still the kids' parents, nothing will change that, and it's unfair to make the children chose constantly between who they spend time with. If you were mature enough to have kids, you'll be mature enough to have a civil relationship for their sake. Obviously excluding abuse cases. No one's making you be best friends with your ex, but your kids deserve quality time with both their parents without having to chose or being told they can only to a thing with mum/dad as long the other parent isn't involved. You're not obligated to hate your ex forever and it's actually much nicer for everyone to move on and find common grounds to co-parent on if it's possible, believe me.
mssileas yeah I get your point, thanks. Well done for working on becoming civil with each other! I got the impression in this FML that the split must have been recent, although that's maybe because the new relationship is very recent. It certainly doesn't sound like they've had much time to work much on their relationship.
Well that was pretty big of you at least you tried what else can you do
If you're so insecure about your relationship that you're uncomfortable with them spending time with their kids then you have serious issue. They've only been together for five days, and the kids and ex will always be a part of his life.