By bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland
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Being a bit bigger myself, I do empathise, and feel sorry for her to an extent, but the soon to be sister in law said it looked better on her because she was skinny for one of two reasons; either thats what she truly believes, and it was just a simple observation that the particular dress looked better on someone slimmer, in which case the affirmative response shouldn't have bothered her. Or she was fishing for her to say 'Oh no it doesn't, I'm not much skinnier than you at all blah blah you're so pretty', which is something that I find beyond irritating. If you aren't happy with how you look then change it, don't expect everyone else to pander to your self esteem. Generally I just operate under the rule that you don't discuss other peoples weight unless they bring it up first, saves a lot of arguments and uncomfortable situations.
@31 You don't know if she was fishing or not. I'm a bigger girl (used to be size 5 now size 12, and I'm also banana shaped rather than hour glass). Also for an example my friend who is hour glass shaped and has a better body than me, we once went bikini shopping and I helped her pick out one of those bikinis with the fabric over the middle of the stomach connecting the 2 pieces because she could pull it off, she wanted me to try on one but I told her no because those types don't flatter my body. It doesn't bother me.
Next time, just try saying "thank you" instead of "accidentally" putting other people down.
There's nothing too bad with that, it's the truth!Its better than sugar coating it.Atleast she said it first so it's not as bad!
IMO, what you said was perfectly acceptable. Fact is you looked prettier than her in the dress because you're skinnier than her, and SHE even admitted that first. There's nothing wrong with agreeing with her on an objective fact.
Excuse me, but a lot of "bigger" girls are prettier than skinny girls. (Not meant in a mean way at all, it's just that not every big girl is ugly, and not every skinny girl is pretty). It's not because the future sister in law said the OP looked better, that she actually did look better. She probably has a really low self esteem and looked for a compliment from the OP, which she didn't get -by mistake- That being said, Idk if this is a FYL or a YDI. YDI for saying something that probably hurt her feelings, but FYL because you obviously didn't mean to and mistakes happen. - also, maybe you could ask someone from the store? They usually know which kind of dresses are the prettiest for each body shape (:
Besides all else, I'm skeptical of the "accident" part. And I'm not the best people person, but I do know that there's kinder ways to phrase things, even if that was true. OP could have suggested a different style, or one she'd tried on earlier. Or commented they sit better due to her boobs or hips. Something nicer. Some dresses do sit best on a certain frame, but there's ways to be nice.
She is not "entirely incorrect" here. Also, what she said is still relevant regardless of whether or not you were referring to looking prettier in the dress or in general. The fact that one girl is thinner than another does not necessarily mean she is prettier in a particular dress.
Nah, I agree with 7. Is everyone here really so lacking in confidence? When I go shopping with my skinnier friend we say lots of things like this. It's no big deal - we have different body shapes and sizes. I moan when I can't fit the petite range like she can, she moans when she can't fill the bust area like I can. We both compliment each other too though. We're just honest - don't wanna buy something that doesn't really suit. If I said what OP said I objectively mean that that style dress suits a skinnier frame and wouldn't be offended if she agreed.
That's probably the worse thing you can tell a girl haha. I see awkward family occasions in your future op. Goodluck
Don't worry about it OP. it's going to be hard at first since she's getting married, so she's going to be stressed. But once she's your sister-in-law she'll eventually forgive you.