Love and Work: Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation...

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 1 292

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Same thing different taste

Never do this

By Anonymous - 05/07/2015 06:18 - United States - Cranford

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 416

You deserved it 3 156

By beingthebossisoverrated - 16/07/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 381

You deserved it 42 216

Undercover

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 21:00

Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 231

Poor choice of words

By Jan - 10/06/2022 06:00

Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 873

By okaythen - 14/08/2016 19:21 - United States - Euless

Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 5 019

By Smitty Werbenjeagermanjensen - 27/10/2016 03:19 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 626

You deserved it 2 663

Tales of the unexpected

By Ryuga - 11/06/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 826

You deserved it 5 160

Catchy turn of phrase

By boinger - 03/06/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 363

You deserved it 61 118

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 435

Wobbly

By CheddarJack89 - 01/12/2012 08:35 - United States - Manchester

Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 862

You deserved it 2 488

Razell 13

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:05

On the one hand, if she's a fan of swashbuckling adventure novels, that's a pretty awesome compliment. On the other hand... oh. Nevermind!

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 2 October 2018 15:05

Aargh! I hate when that happens....

Comments

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 2 October 2018 15:05

Aargh! I hate when that happens....

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:04

At least you didn’t say she was a slot machine, y’know, a one-armed bandit.

Razell 13

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:05

On the one hand, if she's a fan of swashbuckling adventure novels, that's a pretty awesome compliment. On the other hand... oh. Nevermind!

Phillycheeze 20

Wednesday 17 October 2018 23:43

I want to say this is a tacky tasteless comment. But I laughed at it. I like too much....lol

Catsht 11

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:41

A+ compliment, honestly.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:47

just one thing. how the **** dod you manage that

CA_nat 9

Thursday 18 October 2018 18:27

it's all a lie

LadyRen 20

Wednesday 17 October 2018 23:11

Don’t work, drink , and flirt, kids

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 17 October 2018 23:35

I hope she didn't make you walk the plank for that comment.

Phillycheeze 20

Wednesday 17 October 2018 23:42

Dude.... You can recover from this... Take her to that new Pirate movie rated....... aarrrrrrrr

raven_of_azarath 34

Thursday 18 October 2018 0:17

Honestly, if she doesn’t take that as a compliment, she’s not worth your time. Who wouldn’t want to essentially be called a badass royal?

IAmClay 24

Thursday 18 October 2018 1:42

I’ll hand it to you, that sucks. Would love to have a follow up

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 151

You deserved it 39 590

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 3 102

The Top

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 975

You deserved it 2 038

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 719

You deserved it 2 963

Today, I got fired from a business I ran for almost 6 years. Why? The new owner refuses to close, despite our governor ordering non-essential businesses to close, and for people to stay home. I told her I wasn’t comfortable working, and that it was technically illegal. So she fired me in a group chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 199

Today, after years of struggling with poor mental health, my depression convinced me that no one would ever care enough about me to help if I reached out. I called the local suicide hotline anyway. They didn’t answer. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 130

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 461

You deserved it 29 117

Today, I started my spring break. My college is letting the students stay in the dorms for break, so I figured that staying here would mean getting more sleep than going home. Not so much. The fire alarm has been going off every 20 mins since 7:30am because they're "fixing" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 560

You deserved it 3 601