Miscellaneous: Burn the witch!

Burn the witch!

By fanaticalfuckspawn - 25/08/2014 20:14 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 3 165

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Same thing different taste

By marie519 - 09/01/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 390

You deserved it 3 265

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 887

You deserved it 49 512

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 599

You deserved it 2 293

By Anonymous - 26/07/2019 04:00

Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 03/11/2013 18:56 - United States - Roanoke

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 977

You deserved it 3 412

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 23:36 - United States - Tucson

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 370

You deserved it 10 724

Godless

By fullyajar - 12/07/2021 11:01

Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 111

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 339

God is Dead 6: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 133

By Sigh - 23/05/2009 05:50 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 980

You deserved it 34 839

myoukei 31

Tuesday 26 August 2014 4:59

Your mom definitely needs the yoga more than you do OP!

RavesAndWrists 8

Tuesday 26 August 2014 4:59

Okay, your mom sounds like a ******* crazy person.

Comments

NOTaDISTRACTION 17

Tuesday 26 August 2014 10:49

I like badges!

lunadaisy12 16

Tuesday 26 August 2014 11:19

well, back in the day (waaaay back lol), Yoga WAS done to allow a demon to enter your body. All those positions were to relax and allow the demon to enter lol

realtingdis 12

Thursday 28 August 2014 5:20

Yea not many people are aware of that. Supposedly each pose is used to call a different god or something like that.

FelicityWishes 32

Tuesday 26 August 2014 11:48

Least you tried!

Tejsandhu 0

Tuesday 26 August 2014 12:09

Not every word is based on english yoga has nothing to do with yoking dont know where you get the information, also don't know if you are joking #57 but if you aren't then you got a message from upstairs telling you that hindugl gods are false and yours are true ?

samy_yo 12

Tuesday 26 August 2014 17:41

Did you read the part that said "most people think"?

Blaisey 22

Tuesday 26 August 2014 12:48

Perpetually do the dead man's pose in the living room surrounded by red candles

smalltownman 15

Tuesday 26 August 2014 13:57

How the hell is yoga possibly satanic? I guess that means being sexy, toned, and flexible will be a ticket straight to hell then.

retromermaid 12

Tuesday 26 August 2014 15:45

Well, not to be rude, but every position represents a god/goddess, and the reason that yoga was created in its most basic sense, was to worship those gods/goddess. If your mother is a not a Hindu and highly religious, she probably wouldn't want to do that. I'd encourage you to look this up as well. Very interesting.

thisguy22 33

Tuesday 26 August 2014 15:45

Well... It is an easy mistake to make to compare yoga to worshipping the devil. All that bowing and scraping combined with the unnatural, completely self-inflicted bending and torturous stretching could easily lead one to assume evil is involved.