Miscellaneous: Burn the witch!

Burn the witch!

By fanaticalfuckspawn - 25/08/2014 20:14 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 168

You deserved it 3 165

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Same thing different taste

By marie519 - 09/01/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 390

You deserved it 3 265

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 887

You deserved it 49 512

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 599

You deserved it 2 293

By Anonymous - 26/07/2019 04:00

Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 03/11/2013 18:56 - United States - Roanoke

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 977

You deserved it 3 412

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 23:36 - United States - Tucson

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 370

You deserved it 10 724

Godless

By fullyajar - 12/07/2021 11:01

Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 111

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 339

God is Dead 6: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 133

By Sigh - 23/05/2009 05:50 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 980

You deserved it 34 839

myoukei 31

Tuesday 26 August 2014 4:59

Your mom definitely needs the yoga more than you do OP!

RavesAndWrists 8

Tuesday 26 August 2014 4:59

Okay, your mom sounds like a ******* crazy person.

Comments

cheymgurl 4

Tuesday 26 August 2014 6:00

Sounds like my mom

RollingCakes 21

Tuesday 26 August 2014 6:01

As someone who has only done yoga once, got tired after 5 minutes, and is Indian, I can assure you that the ability needed to do it for long periods of time is not human and might be a bit on the supernatural side

titibug823 11

Tuesday 26 August 2014 6:59

I do it for an hour and fifteen minutes regularly. Its will power and finding your inner strength

GentlemanBastard 15

Tuesday 26 August 2014 6:21

Sigh... And so many people see nothing wrong with following a cult because millions of others do it. This is one of the closed-minded, hate-spewing, condemning ideas that come from said cult. It's kind of ridiculous, really.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 26 August 2014 6:43

Try something she likes maybe watch a movie together or something

xxsakuraxx 29

Tuesday 26 August 2014 8:14

How the hell is yoga satanic?

scary_mama 4

Tuesday 26 August 2014 8:19

Ahh the things people don't realise these days. End times are coming.

lexutzu 12

Tuesday 26 August 2014 8:19

I guess she isn't that flexible. Sorry to hear that.

moonbootz 7

Tuesday 26 August 2014 8:19

Older people are more set in their ways...trying tl change them? Classic rookie mistake...itll be okay OP. Get fit. Rule the world. Proud o' youuu!

samy_yo 12

Tuesday 26 August 2014 8:40

The word Yoga means Yoke. What most people think is that you are actually being yoked to Hindu false god demons. Because Yoga was created by Hindus that worship literally thousands of false gods otherwise known as demons. So your mom has a point if that's what she believes.

nitrog100 21

Tuesday 26 August 2014 9:10

That's actually relatively accurate information. The earliest reference to 'yoga' was yoking a beast of burden. What we know as yoga is an amalgamation of traditional stretches and exercises that was slapped together during British occupation.