Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from underground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls, only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML
Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML
Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML
Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML
Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
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Top comments
malheartsnutmeg 20
You can almost taste the rabies. :o
lionandthelamb61 9
mmmm...tastes like chicken
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Comments (158)
ke59100 1
ew haha ydi
adriane209 0
si.
mshooter 0
Hey Emily. How you doing?
andruha1123 5
mmmmmmhhh, dead water flavor!
SOTYsNumber1Fan 0
Gross. Have fun with your crappy american healthcare! hohoho!
purgarus 6
Who else loves the new comment system?
Helbo 0
TIMOTHY!! He's not going to school today.
andruha1123 5
, I hate it :( takes too many clicks to see all of the comments
TransitionCovery 0
"Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML" YDI.
Anaxes 5
Transition. Just stop. Or at least go deepthroat a broadsword.
chili10 18
mmm, soup.
imlagginglol 0
YDI for pretending to be Bear Grylls
Jandude 9
mshootet is hittin on #1 xd
UndiscoveredChao 0
yes
nonamayne 0
I gotta say, that sucks but it's just too funny not to laugh
Skroal_stomper 5
21 the thing I do like is that the keyboard goes away after making a post or reply. It was driving me nuts having to exit and restart FML every time I made a comment.
sourgirl101 29
22 at 26 I agree. I really don't care for it myself. Everything is hidden and there is way too much clicking. I'm sure it takes some getting uses to. I'm just not liking it so far.
sexy_chick_123 0
21 I like it better so I can skip us threadjackers easier if I want to :) Plus no keyboard comment bug. yay!
mattman1994 0
good job Ranger Rick. I'm surprised your friends even wanted to go
loski87 4
21 I love it!! I like how they group the replies so there aren't hella pages of comments. now if i want to skip the attention ****** that reply to #1 just to be seen I can!
Brittney_E 0
They improved it for iPhones and iPods. I like it.(:
counterfit 10
I guess this is a bad time to mention that Poland Spring is filtered to remove naturally-occuring benzene. Oh, and never drink water directly from an uncontrolled source. Just hope you don't end up with dysntery.
1personinthiswor 0
61- I agree, I thought that was only my iPod >.<
kewlster1 0
AHAHA to 37
alsnyder12 0
lol ur ******
Sprinkle_Donuts 1
mhm raccoon water sounds refreshing ill have a glass
LOL_Noobs 0
LOL!
ichliebedich_fml 0
it's really not that funny.
parii 0
racoons are just disgusting
dave04045 1
if you dont like throwing up, you better get used to it
lionandthelamb61 9
mmmm...tastes like chicken
lionandthelamb61 9
also, I've tasted natural spring water in Saratoga Springs, NY and it tastes like rotten eggs....so I'm sure the dead carcass taste was undetectable anyway
MacNuggets 0
that's messed up o.o
aeroliontvw 4
lionandthelamb61, that was probably a sulfer spring. they smell like rotten eggs so I'd guess they may taste like them also. a regular spring shouldn't taste like that.
malheartsnutmeg 20
You can almost taste the rabies. :o
gfunk1127 0
hahaha@4
FFML_314 12
YDI, never drink the water!
SaintE_fml 0
hey congrats on your gig
EBrennan 0
well that's discusting but part of the water cycle
Hummbinger 5
I'm pretty sure that animals dying has nothing to do with the water cycle... Oh, btw. Disgusting*
TheDarkCynder 2
Actuallly, it does.
Rangant 7
this is why people stick to google images when showing people stuff
loski87 4
ah disgusting
andrewFML 0
12th