Drunk and Health: Blackout

Blackout

By stupiddrunk - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck, and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 163

You deserved it 39 829

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Same thing different taste

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 15 626

By fml - 19/01/2011 01:49 - United States

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 847

You deserved it 40 945

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 5 259

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 900

You deserved it 40 620

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 863

You deserved it 38 334

By baddoggy - 17/10/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 124

You deserved it 23 617

By FailedEngineer - 20/10/2009 21:31 - Australia

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 284

You deserved it 35 681

By Devin - 21/06/2019 22:17

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 744

WTH happened?

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 379

You deserved it 42 563

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 4 584

ritzbits 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 8:57

it wouldn't been sexier if you were naked.

kingtz 6

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:12

Kinky! YDI for not getting electrified nipple clamps to go with your outfit.

Comments

georgegnarlin 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 19:53

If the keys were inside the stomach of an unconcious man surrounded by a shallow moat filled with pirranhas on the other side of the electric doggy fence, Leigh Whannell would have another movie.

Matt1989 3

Thursday 10 November 2011 4:45

wow a not as gruesome version of saw in real life

supahcoolperson 0

Saturday 19 November 2011 17:43

that musta hurt finding out where tht invisible doggy fence started

bagleface 6

Wednesday 7 December 2011 9:24

Let the game begin

KrazyLove56 4

Tuesday 13 December 2011 7:14

why would you even do that anyways?!?!?!?!

metalcoremaster 4

Thursday 15 December 2011 4:45

Because some people think that is fun

ElricMustang 23

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:27

Did anyone else think "I want to play a game..." when they read this?

gfoxx17 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:50

Just turn the fence off from the control panel...

P1Nk13 7

Friday 8 June 2012 16:31

so everyone assumes your hands were cuffed behind you....the post NEVER specifies this...but even if they were...under and around your legs...remove the collar...and go get the key dumbass

nathant123 0

Sunday 24 June 2012 4:15

I want to play a game

cloth101 5

Wednesday 14 November 2012 20:28

Serves you right for having an evil electric fence to control your dog. If it isn't yours then I feel bad for you. Otherwise no sympathy.

sulitak 27

Sunday 5 May 2013 12:27

that "evil electric fence" has saved many dogs lives... including the dog across the way from me. we aren't allowed to have fences in our yards. the dog broke its chain (which is FAR worse than a damn shock collar) and was chasing squirrels. that little jolt stopped it before going in the street. now, two years later, the dog knows where its allowed to go and rarely ever gets a shock.