Drunk and Health: Blackout

Blackout

By stupiddrunk - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck, and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 163

You deserved it 39 829

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Same thing different taste

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 15 626

By fml - 19/01/2011 01:49 - United States

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 847

You deserved it 40 945

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 5 259

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 900

You deserved it 40 620

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 863

You deserved it 38 334

By baddoggy - 17/10/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 124

You deserved it 23 617

By FailedEngineer - 20/10/2009 21:31 - Australia

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 284

You deserved it 35 681

By Devin - 21/06/2019 22:17

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 744

WTH happened?

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 379

You deserved it 42 563

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 4 584

ritzbits 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 8:57

it wouldn't been sexier if you were naked.

kingtz 6

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:12

Kinky! YDI for not getting electrified nipple clamps to go with your outfit.

Comments

NOACCEPTANCE772 21

Monday 11 February 2013 20:48

Welcome to kink!

lululatenight 28

Wednesday 13 February 2013 20:27

Let's play a game....

epicRawrz 16

Friday 10 May 2013 7:35

Where your hands cuffed behind your back?

fooltemptress 36

Thursday 23 January 2014 8:35

Is it bad I favorited this just so I can do this to someone sometime?

MrZsDad 19

Friday 25 April 2014 1:36

Ha your friends are awesome!

TerrorByte 4

Tuesday 15 July 2014 11:01

*In jigsaws voice* Wanna play game?

Raven1193 4

Monday 15 September 2014 10:18

Who considers drinking on their couch a night out?? They have this new thing called punctuation.... So you can wake up, after a night out of drinking, on the couch.....