Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, it was my first day at a new job as a waitress for a wedding function centre. As I was opening the door to collect dirty plates from the guests, I bumped into a colleague carrying a tray full of full champagne glasses, all of which fell and smashed on the floor. FML
Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML
Today, I was working as a waitress at a wedding. I was trying to clear the tables as quickly as possible and decided to place a half bowl of soup on top of the pile of plates I was carrying. As I was hurrying back to the kitchen I tripped and spilt the soup all over the bride's ivory dress. FML
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
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Top comments
AlicaKate 0
You had a SPARE blender?
kitkatkelly 0
You have a spare blender? For blending emergencies? That's hardcore.
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Comments (57)
Erindub 0
Oh and to the comment about server vs. waitress...really? Its still a shitty job no matter how you label it sweetheart : ) now fetch me a sammich
HottAznChick 0
lol I'm clumsy too
ImKindaAmazing 0
who owns a spare blender?
no_mames_vato 0
hope you have big boobs, otherwise no tips
Melephant_fml 0
Seriously. You have a spare blender?
little_birdie 0
I think that someones telling you not to b a waitress- its a sign.
crazzycooll33 0
hahahahahahahahah who the **** has a spare blender?
xmarkstheheart 0
Like #2 said, you have a spare blender?!? That's incredibly weird. It's like having a spare passport, or a spare swing set, or a spare copy of the Magna Carta (in case your first copy gets coffee or mead stains). In other matters: it sounds like you started drinking waaaaay before that party got started! Klutz-o!
ceddyz17 10
that's how it goes down in the 802
Zafrina15 13
Well good luck being a waitress! And..you keep a spare blender? hahaha.