Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, it was my first day at a new job as a waitress for a wedding function centre. As I was opening the door to collect dirty plates from the guests, I bumped into a colleague carrying a tray full of full champagne glasses, all of which fell and smashed on the floor. FML
Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML
Today, I was working as a waitress at a wedding. I was trying to clear the tables as quickly as possible and decided to place a half bowl of soup on top of the pile of plates I was carrying. As I was hurrying back to the kitchen I tripped and spilt the soup all over the bride's ivory dress. FML
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
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Top comments
AlicaKate 0
You had a SPARE blender?
kitkatkelly 0
You have a spare blender? For blending emergencies? That's hardcore.
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Comments (57)
I_amSoFuct 4
Wow your life really does suck. You should take some hardcore ballet lessons ...
socksket 4
lol XDDDDDD
dmj96 0
FYL for having a spare blender
ZleveL 0
ydi for not having a good college education and working as a waitress instead of a job that will actually get you somewhere in you life
CryBabyCry224 0
haha that totally fails ;)
charlie2_fml 2
51- OP could be in college or university and is looking for a job to pay tuition ect
lexiieeex3 32
51- That I'd the rudest, most insulting thing I have ever seen on this site. You're an asshole .
AlicaKate 0
You had a SPARE blender?
kozmikstarz 0
Really though! Who has spare blenders? And YDI for having such cheap blenders. I've dropped mine countless times (and I am a server...they stopped calling them waitresses back in the 90's by the way) and it never breaks.
AlicaKate 0
Lol really, a spare blender. Do you have a spare refrigerator as well? Oh and to the trolls... Yeah, I'm aware it could have been a gift or something, but the word use is absolutely hilarious. Spare blender.
thighsofglory 0
I'm digging the spare blender. And what's "hardcore ballet?"
RaidenXS 0
a waitress is someone who takes the order. a server is a person who brings out the food.
longhornguy69 0
#39 watiresses take the order AND serve it. Take Hooters for instance, she TAKES the order then SERVES it to you but not before sayin "Hi, I'm Sara, I'll be your waitress today."
buggerzapper 0
actually, server is the politically correct title, as opposed to waitress or waitor in my neck of the woods, you call a guy server a waitor and you get skinned so, server = waitor/waitress
crazzycooll33 0
hahahahahahahahah who the **** has a spare blender?
JayScarp 0
Actually, if there is a person who is bringing out the food who is not your designated waiter they are called a 'food runner.' Not a server.
nateypooo 0
maybe it wasn't a spare just like an old one
Missy612 14
Does it really ******* matter?
lucifer69_fml 0
who the **** calls it a server
perdix 29
That "server" shit has been going on for a few years now. If the waitress is a cute girl and says, "I'll be your server tonight," I ask, "So, can I have your IP address?" Nerd humor, FTW! And they laugh if they want a tip :D
firepixie17 0
Why does someone have to be forced to listen to your lame joke for a tip...that's pretty cruel. So you're saying that if someone bent over backwards to give you awesome service but they didn't laugh at your joke because it's dumb, that you would leave them a crappy tip?
FreddyLunch 0
Good joke #11, I lol'd.
perdix 29
Jeez, firepixie, it's not like the joke takes more than 5 seconds to tell, and it's not like I'll stiff her unless I get a guffaw or a howl. Calm the **** down!
unique_freak 17
ummm... Pretty much everyone who works in the "food service" industry... Ironically enough...
ayame_jbomb_2727 0
I worked in the food service industry and we didn't call it a server where I worked, I would classify the job I had when I worked at a restaurant as a waitressing job, I worked at that restaurant last year, and am trying to get another waitressing job. Server is more for the males working in the industry and the people working at like fast food joints.
vikingunicorn 1
Aw! I had a spare blender, too! :D I got it as a gift when I moved out because my father didn't want it anymore, even though I had my own new one. Needless to say I used the old one until it broke, and when it did, I was prepared! To the OP, maybe you have an inner ear thing that's putting you off balance? Get it checked out(if being clumsy is a new development that is)! :C
GiRIsMakingCupca 0
gurl u be trippin' lol jk :)
Roadrunner21 0
I bet you can't wait. dohohohohoho
kitkatkelly 0
You have a spare blender? For blending emergencies? That's hardcore.
itspimpz 0
yea i agree with 5. @3 wut the fudge are you talking about? I guess while I was sleeping somehow ever resturant in the world went bak in time but nothing else changed. I still say waitress.
schwinn11 0
The future's look'n bright