Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML
Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
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Top comments
RJB 0
I bet the dog read your mind about what you wanted to do to him..dont lie...
yessirfosho 0
The dog or the boss?
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Comments (170)
Phorenzix 0
you're probably better off only having the dog. after all, the worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas, and they don't have problems expressing affection in public.
Free_Hugs10 0
Agreed!
fisheatsbear 6
you would rather have a dog then a job?
goarrows 0
WTF?
Free_Hugs10 0
I wouldn't rather have a dog than a job, but I'd rather keep my dog than be friends with my boss.
babybubz 0
diddo.
The_Great_Zucchi 15
YDI for being one of those dogowners who think that their dog won't do stuff like this. Who thinks that everybody enjoys being dribbled or jumped on and doesn't mind the fact that their dog barks all day even though it drives the neighbourhood nuts. You should know if your dog is safe around strangers. If you know it isn't put it away when you have guests. Learn how to take care of your dog or get rid of it.
Basmothel 0
This, pretty much. If you don't know how your dog reacts to guests, don't bring it out when there's such an important guest coming. Regardless, dogs shouldn't be around dinner guests, anyways, as they are disgusting animals and I know myself personally hate when they're close to the table, drooling and getting their noses everywhere while I'm trying to eat. Learn to train your dog.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
um. Dogs can sence when there is "bad people" in there house. The dog was most likely protecting her. And you guys are douche bags... Where does it say in there that she let's her dog bark 24/7, and jump on people and slobber all over them? ******* assholes.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
and my two putbulls are very nice great dogs. Except they nearly attactked this dude that stopped at my house to grab something. seriously... they just sence bad people or if they just don't like said persons "sent" they'll bite.
Melkezidech 0
You are the reason that people call blonde female stupid......
tisiphone_fml 0
Agreed with 17. If you have a dog that is equivalent in weight to a human being, you need to be sure of how he or she will react to strangers. This includes being overly "friendly" as well as harming them.
milady666 2
There always has to be a dog expert huh? Save it
Spac3Ghost 0
Dit is a flop boet :)
quikwit1212 0
What? Translate gibberish, NOW!
RedTriceratops 0
I don't understand how this is an FML. Put the stupid dog away before you have company, retard. YDI for trusting an animal.
zuuzuu_fml 0
rofl at
marsty 0
no no no... not FML.... not at all. if your animals sense something is wrong you should take their word for it.. he's up to no good. animals don't react that way for no reason...they sense evil... don't put it down... but definitely put it down to luck that you found out sooner rather than later!!! they know what's goin on
iSwag 0
Completely agree with 28. I have a Rottweiler and he's let complete strangers pet him (nice old ladies, children, random dog-loving families etc.) but some guy came to the door one time for the cable or something and max almost tore it down trying to get to him...my mom couldn't hold him cuz he was going crazy and the dude couldn't come in...there was something about that dude he didn't like and he made sure he didn't come in ...that's my dog (couldn't help it)
marsty 0
knockosaurus.... two words for u... SCREw YOU!!!! it's ppl like you who create the need for pounds n shelters. dogs know so much about emotion and human behaviour... if people only realisrd how much they care and look out for us we would all be Better off, for he who hates animals ain't worthy!!!!!!
knockasauras 0
lawlz. I was kiddin' around, I love dogs. and plz, spell my name right or just reply to my comment. grammar fail.
Phorenzix 0
or spell words right in general.
marsty 0
get a better name that's actually memorable ydi
marsty 0
like I said in another thread... if u care so much about spelling go to dictionary.com ya *******
nighabitch 0
YDI for not following me O.O twitter.com/elementality jay kay shameless promotion ftw german shepards are scary mofos
aDropOfSunshine 2
Shit happens. Your boss will (or at least should) understand unless there's more to the story, like your dog has rabies or something. And even at that, rabies is quite treatable if you act quickly... hmmm.
The_Great_Zucchi 15
Sorry, what planet are you from? I will never be understanding if someone's dog bites me and neither should anyone else be or expected to be. If you want a dog fine with me but learn how to control it or don't get one.
aDropOfSunshine 2
Umm, Earth. OK. Correction, I would be understanding.. maybe not with the whole "rabies" bit, but overall I would be, depending on severity. Dogs are animals that can be controlled most of the time, but that's just it, they're ANIMALS. If something instinctively snaps or they feel threatened, shit happens. If someone doesn't like dogs or can't possibly be a little understanding that these things do happen, then quite simply, they shouldn't be around them and given fair warning that a dog will be present. There.
The_Great_Zucchi 15
I still think you have it backwards. If you invite your boss and he's not comfortable around dogs you put the dog away while he's there. It's a courtesy to your guests to make them feel comfortable. I used to have a neighbour who owned an Irish wolfhound. Everybody knew it was well-behaved and wouldn't hurt a fly. The thing is, he would let it run loose in his garden and it would sometimes wander in the road when it saw you, just to say hi. Most people in our street owned dogs but everybody hated this guy AND the dog. Simply because he couldn't understand that people might be intimidated when a dog like that runs up to you and jumps with it's front legs on your shoulders. The dog was about 2.00m tall when it did that, way taller than most people. He kept saying: "but it won't hurt you", instead of just thinking about the people that didn't know his dog well and were scared shitless of passing his house.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
your an idiot stop assuming all this shit about OP. How do you know that the boss is scared or doesn't like dogs. Jesus if I ever met you I would make my 2 pitbulls rip your face apart. maybe you would just stfu than hey. lol your a retard, dogs sence bad people. therefore dog probably did not like op's boss. so the dog bit the boss. who cares.
aDropOfSunshine 2
Zucchi, I get your point, and agree to a certain extent. However, your dog inside your house and a dog allowed to kind of run freely and go up to strangers walking by are VERY different things. I wouldn't be very understanding if I was taking a stroll and a random dog came up and jumped on me either. As far as the dinner situation, I would personally understand if it happened, as long as my limb weren't severed, but I guess it's a personal thing. Of course I believe owners should do their best to make guests comfortable and make sure their pets are controlled, but the best trained animals slip up, and personally I would be understanding. I'm clearly in the minority, but that's just me.
Melkezidech 0
Dear God, reading your posts is like having my eyes gouged out and being skull-******. How do you even dress yourself in the morning?
girlygirl666 0
Eh. The dog's been there, done these little "suppers" with you before. He knew what was coming next, and just wanted to get the party started.
texas_justice 0
haha