Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML
Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
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Top comments
RJB 0
I bet the dog read your mind about what you wanted to do to him..dont lie...
yessirfosho 0
The dog or the boss?
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Comments (170)
perdix 31
When you tell a dog you're having the boss for supper, they think you mean it literally. Only humans can recognize figures of speech. Even then, some stupid humans can't.
bleedinginside 0
the comments say that ur all animals and make decisions like putting the dog down that breed protects his family and would die for his family
lky830 0
OBIDIENCE TRAINING. And put the dog up while you are having dinner with an important guest. strangers don't want your dog staring at them and/or biting them when they are trying to eat. inappropriate and ydi
J4cks0n 0
So you will probably loose your job now...
pinkandblaqk15 0
oh hey an fml the finally isn't way out there.... hmmm....
perdix 31
I hope your dog didn't bite the part of the boss's ass that you habitually kiss.
DogmaT_fml 4
i would say more than kiss, especially since they 'get on pretty well'
fuster 0
What were you serving your boss for supper? Franks and beans or twigs and berries? Try peanutbutter next time and remind your dog that it's improper to use teeth.
laxkid19 0
owww that's gonna hurt in the morning
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Sorry, but I'm lol at how this FML is worded. Simple and to the point. Like "Today, I went to the doctor. Everything was going well, until I was diagnosed with cancer."
Tootsiee 0
OP, you deserve it because I'm sure you know your dog is an asshole, should have ties him up?