Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML
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Top comments
Locket_fml 0
Look on the bright side, $20 up.
Crunchy_fml 0
at least you got some money?
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Comments (262)
streetpattern 0
Some years back, I met a woman at a dance, and we ended up having sex in my apartment that same night. She was a sweet, shy woman who was just getting over a bad divorce. We were an item for months after that, and had some good times together. No one, not even an actual prostitute, deserves to be called a "*****". It's an ugly, dehumanizing word.
Moomoomoo_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve it for having sex with someone you just met... what a ****
Monty_Python 0
How is this an FML? You had sex with a hotty and got $20. Lucky.
5ive 0
YOU DESERVED IT. if he thought you were a prostitute you were obviously dressed in something slutty. AND you had sex..
diana491141 0
Hey man, $20 is $20. I would have bought myself a super box of condoms.
mehwhateverr 0
i like #1's comment.
PSUraven 0
classy
Tsukasa_fml 0
Who knows, maybe his thought was "hopefully she finds the money I left to replace it before she discovers I broke it." Whatever "it" may be.
lolyouareanidiot 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, if you are meeting people at bars and taking them home to have sex the same night, then you are a ***** whether or not you take the money. Quit crying Ms. Rotten Crotch.
ginevra921 0
That's what a one-night stand with a stranger does to you. Be more discerning in the future - then maybe people won't think you're a cheap prostitute.