Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Locket_fml 0
Look on the bright side, $20 up.
Crunchy_fml 0
at least you got some money?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (262)
AntiChrist7 0
he must have his reasons. rethink your clothing. YDI
babydoll86_fml 0
Haha, people calling her (I'm assuming it's a her, could have been two men for all we know) a **** are stupid. He had sex with a person he had just met outside of a club! If she's a ****, so is he!
RockPrincess26 16
No shit! Did you come up with that one on your own?! Tell us more!
farf_fml 0
Why is it FYL? You were doing it for free. He is the one out 20 bucks, FHL!
sara942 0
You picked a guy up off the street, outside of a club, and brought him back to your place and had sex with him. What didn't you do that qualifies you as any better than a prostitute? As for the people who are like "if this was a guy, he wouldn't be getting a hard time about this": Um yeah, it's still gross. If I wanted to date the guy and I knew he liked picking up random girls on the street for sex, I'd definitely think twice.
TerAki 0
Kandy, what are you rambling about? 1.)There are girls also claiming that she's a ***** so your whole 'oh lawd this is a sexist duble standurds' shit doesn't even make sense. 2.)It seems that only douchy fratboys are the ones that go "yooooooooooooo man you scored high five!!!". I don't know any other guys that would actually do that. 3.)Even the idiots that would do that wouldn't congratulate him on picking up what he thought was a hooker. 106. I'm 98% certain "Chelsea" is a female. And everyone else, where does it say that the people insulting her think the guy was right? He's not the one whining on FML about it.
sculpey 0
Oh, damn..... can I have my money back?
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
Profit on the evening: $20
lolyouareanidiot 0
#98 and #99. I am no religious freak, I couldn't care less what the Bible has to say about sex. She is still Ms. Rotten Crotch. I will continue to judge her, because she is McNasty.
lucie_fml 0
WOW, you guys are bitches. WHO THE **** CARES THAT SHE SLEPT AROUND? When you're at a club, shit happens. And that's just how it goes. Period. I would like to say, atleast it wasn't a five dollar bill. THAT would be a fyl. Twenty isn't much better, but its a bit of a profit. I am assuming you got no stis or other infections of the sort from this "hook up."
route95 0
that's why you don't have sex with complete strangers.