Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML
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Top comments
Locket_fml 0
Look on the bright side, $20 up.
Crunchy_fml 0
at least you got some money?
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Comments (262)
kandy_fml 0
One more thing I want to add. You were asleep. If you were awake, he probably would have either asked how much you wanted, or given you more than a $20. The dude was probably just taking advantage of the fact that you were asleep. Doesn't mean you're cheap or bad in bed.
LordLiam316 0
that's true
plethora 3
#75- Thank you! The thing that made him think she was a hooker was the fact that she picked him out on the street. If it happened inside the club, it would just be a one-night stand for him. Or, he wouldn't have gone home with her at all :P
KPACOTKA 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
S L U T
ateasenfitz 0
Grow up people, stop judging people!
ateasenfitz 0
First off, for all you religious zealots, it says in your so-called Bible not to judge people. And for everyone else, I am sure you have done worse things in your lifetime than having a one-night stand. So ******* what. Act like civilized people. It's none of your business!
RockPrincess26 16
Wah. Wah. Wah. Quit crying.
KPACOTKA 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
****!!!
meaganwas 0
Maybe this is a sign that you should stop being a hooch and have some self respect.
Morv_fml 0
cheap AND easy
mattmag 0
well, you do sound like a *****. but you got laid and you have $20. if that happened to me it'd be the best day of my life. now whose life is ******?
Serenity_fml 0
The responses here are truly idiotic. It's true that if this were a guy people would congratulate him about what a stud he is about easily picking up hot girls. Predictable double standards.