Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML
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Top comments
Locket_fml 0
Look on the bright side, $20 up.
Crunchy_fml 0
at least you got some money?
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Comments (262)
Phillay632 0
Okay, so I'm going to assume that if you were going to the club, you were dressed scantily clad and showing off your assets. Certainly you weren't wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Also, if you're dressed like that AND took home some guy who you had literally just met and then slept with him, what did you expect him to think? You pretty much are a stupid ***** for sleeping with someone you don't even know. You're lucky you got $20 rather than robbed and/or killed. You should also thank your lucky stars that did not get HIV or gonorrhea. Please, learn from your mistakes before something really bad happens to you. Perhaps you should have a little more self-respect and discipline. If you want to have sex that bad, then get a boyfriend or at least a good friend that you trust to serve as a booty call. Idiot.
SaturnE_fml 0
How would she know if the $20 had an STI? She just met it in the morning. And since you knew what she was wearing based on her being at a club, don't you think since he met her outside the club he'd know it was club wear and not a street uniform? I could understand if they were at a family establishment like Hooter's or something, then she might look out of place. Much like the saints and holy messiahs here, on her FML, he was commenting on his opinion of what she'd done. On her nightstand, after having done the same thing she did.
Morten Bork 6
wow. you are a bonafide ****. if you cant tell the difference between promiscious and prostitute, I am afraid you are the idiot. (not to mention a judgemental prick)
Casaundraaa 9
never know with STDs right away ?? ? ?
greenman_fml 0
first of all, everyone, just because a girl likes sex doesn't mean she's a prostitute/*****. if this was a guy, your opinions would be different. second of all, this should encourage OP to do this more often. there's nothing better than free money. maybe you should change your name to "mercedes," chew gum, and wear mini skirts
RockPrincess26 16
Not mine. If a guy did that I'd be calling him a ***** too. Stupid assumptions like this are, well.... stupid.
Michael Montalvo 11
No, my opinion would not be different if it was a guy in this situation. I would consider him a white too, so get out of here you feminist
Michael Montalvo 11
No, my opinion would not be different if it was a guy in this situation. I would consider him a ***** too, so get out of here you feminist
Frlf 0
You got easy money. How can your life be ******?
xninix_fml 36
Well she was ****** ;p
Pixiewolfe 46
It was insulting that he thought her as something to be brought, not a willing partner for mutual pleasure!
Joo_bean16 0
So you're just a **** then.
Vehicle 1
Completely your fault! When will you people who have sex with random people learn?
Gawrsh_youRhymed 0
when they get an STD...just sayin
RockPrincess26 16
Or a pregnancy.
dancin303 0
#22 so basically your telling her to become a prostitute. and op just move on its not a big deal
bowener12 0
maybe it was just gas money
alex_vik 1
You're outside a club, picking up guys, and going back to your apartment to have sex, what else would he think you were? YDI
MukyDaCookie 0
Guys, whats wrong with a girl bringing a guy home from the club? I know it's the only reason I would go to a club - to find a chick I wouldn't leave $20 though :P
shadydogman 0
money for food, he was being gentleman. big deal
Razi_tail 25
Nothing in this fml makes him a gentleman nor her a lady.