They usually grow in close proximity to the cheeseburger bushes. Nom nom nom.

Whaaat? No!!! They grow in a patch, like regular potatoes Geesshh...a tree...what a knucklehead.

I'm at a loss for words.

I read a lot of bad things that happen to people here, but rarely is it life impacting. For this, however, I truly feel for you

You're a kinder person than me, OP. I would've given in, encouraged him to tell others and impress them with his knowledge, and wait for him to make an ass of himself.

You're the one who kept it up for a hour. After minute three, I would've conceded the point and asked for one of those trees as a birthday or anniversary present.

lol.

And pizza rolls grow in rows, like corn.

As I just finished saying on another FML...you married him.

Does he also believe that money grows on trees?