Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML
Today, my boyfriend spent forty minutes making pasta sauce when we had a perfectly good jar of pasta sauce in the pantry. FML
Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML
Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
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Top comments
ass 11
He needs to go to the emergency room immediately if he's still alive
Ellimac21 14
What did he say ? "I promise hone, these mushrooms are perfectly fine! Look they look so tasty, all red with little white dots!"
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Comments (5)
Ellimac21 14
What did he say ? "I promise hone, these mushrooms are perfectly fine! Look they look so tasty, all red with little white dots!"
ass 11
He needs to go to the emergency room immediately if he's still alive
cuz803 46
Honestly, I cannot date people who blatantly subject themselves to stupid circumstances. You said it yourself, "stupid dumbass". Can't tell you what to do but maybe you should break up with him. I sure as Hell broke up with my idiotic low IQ gf years ago and my life has been less frustrating ever since.
OzzieAnna 2
he's lucky he's still alive. dump.him. next time he'll put it into your food without telling you.
FluffythePink 24
You really should get him to the hospital and take a sample of the sauce if there's any left. Some fungi attack the kidneys and liver and it's a slow, horrible way to go... If he's ok then I, personally, would dump him for being effing stupid enough to try for a Darwin Award. If you decide to keep him, then for the love of all that is holy, do not breed with him.