Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
I would like to believe that the eagle screamed "Caw muthafucka Caw!" as he swooped down.
nephilim241 19
My hairdo brings all the hawks to the yard and they're like CAWWWW *swoop*
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Comments (78)
Cyanidenhappines 0
Well that's not fun.
Dudelike89 8
At least you have hair.
gojira666 7
Thats a sign that you need to switch shampoos.
bubble25_fml 5
Damn, you should've had a camera set up so you could submit the video to America's Funniest Home Videos... Would've won for sure.
jwade11 12
That was just a coincidence OP!
Zackaray 0
38- No. Definitely would not have won. They pick the DUMBEST winners on that show
Buttsexpirate 9
I would like to believe that the eagle screamed "Caw muthafucka Caw!" as he swooped down.
sirbrainiac 2
'twas a hawk.
Badjuju7711 0
Pirates are always correct... And you want to argue with a Buttsexpirate... Hes going to plunder your hidden treasure.
flockz 20
arrr he's gonna violate the booty.
iam_yummylicious 12
And caw is crow. Eagle is more of a skreeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaagghh! And hawks scream/screech like crazy mofugs... IDK how to type it? EEEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRUUUUUUHHHH. Or something.
KiddNYC1O 22
The **** ****? ^
iam_yummylicious 12
Pirate is getting his animals confused
Kikitann 9
Your comment reminds me of Homestuck. :o
asianswag 6
At least you know someone likes it.
Dr_Jalepenos 0
If it makes you feel any better hawks also eat skunks
YourEvilHero 12
wash that weave girl!
abbyhoneywaffles 11
How do you know OP is a girl?
bad_chiquita 5
They don't call it a "rat's nest" for nothing.
ComTlancy 12
Or Rat Tail
EvilPotato 15
Next time bring a gun out.
FatAbbot 5
New PSA! Pack a gun with you to the beach, to prevent hawk attacks on wierd ass hairdoo's! /sarcasm
Dawnxxoo 11
LOL
shazza26 1
How could you realize that your hair looks like that bad and not do anything about it?
CalCommando 6
Majestic bird soars, Clawing at OP's rat nest, That's some ugly hair.
spazz666 18
I see what you did there sir, clever use of haiku. Thumbs up!
Comet_Candy 23
That was so beautiful. A single manly tear was shed.
maphineRAWRS 10
That actually happenes..?! :|