Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, I finally got medication to deal with my seizures. I've had them since I was 5, but my mother had always believed I was faking it. When I seized during a basketball game, she actually came onto the court and lectured the referee for "humoring" me. FML
Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML
Today, after 4 years of college to get a BA in Marketing and 2 years to get an MBA, I landed a great job as a receptionist. My boss likes to fist bump when I buzz him through the security door correctly. FML
Today, I walked into a room where my naked "best friend" had set up a romantic scene and attempted to kiss me. It turns out he believed we were in a relationship for the last year and told our entire school. I am 100% straight. This explains why I haven't been able to get laid in months. FML
Today, my son told me he got a tattoo to honour our German heritage. The bloody fool got an eagle and swastika on his arm. I had to explain to a 20-year-old what WWII was. He’s now researching laser removal. Idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother invited me to her 18th birthday. She lied about her age. I have been screwing a minor for 2 years. FML
Today, I moved back to a small town after 4 years in the city. I was looking forward to getting away from the light pollution until I woke up in the middle of the night, peered into the pitch black void above my head, and had a panic attack. I need a night light at 23. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to use an electric sander on my arm during our construction class. FML
Today, I walked into my office and found my ex-roommate going through my desk. Apparently, despite not wanting to be friends or even speak anymore, he has no qualms about "borrowing" my Master's thesis so he can compare and write his. FML
Today, my girlfriend got paid by the richest guy in our school to go to the Winter Formal with him. She took up the offer. FML
Today, I discovered that I don't have a college fund. My mother stole the money when she divorced my dad and he never bothered to tell me. Now he's offered to pay my tuition if I go to a military academy. If I don't take the offer, he wants me to move out by next Friday. FML
Today, because of my full-time job, full-time courses, studying for the GRE, anxiety disorder, insomnia, and a recent pet death, I'm on the verge of a breakdown. My mother texted, "Looking through old photos, you were so skinny, what happened?" FML
Today, I was teaching my microbiology lab class as a graduate TA. Some dumbass frat boy dared his friend to drink a tube of E. coli and the idiot did it. Now everything in the lab is contaminated with vomit. FML
Today, I kissed my 3.5 GPA goodbye because my English teacher was too caught up planning her parrot's birthday party to put in the credit I deserve for three different essays I completed for her class. FML
Today, I fell asleep for 20 minutes during my first final in law school. I took a $70k loan to be here. FML
Today, after spending 6 hours straight working on a project at school, I decided to call it a night. The instant I set foot out of the lab, the building started screaming. The maintenance guy had set the alarm without telling me. The police had to let me out. FML
Today, I accidentally called a student in my 10th grade English class "David" instead of "Dylan". Without thinking, I said, "I'm sorry, I just have a lot of Ds in my life!" All of my students broke out in mortified laughter. FML
Today, I found out that my mom uses my Facebook account more than I do. FML
Today, I had to explain to my Creative Writing teacher what an antagonist is. FML
fishyrael tells us more.
fishyrael 29
OP here, didn't expect to actually get published! Backstory, it's a college Intro class that I have to take before I can branch off into the Fiction classes (it's my major with intent to teach Fiction writing myself at university level). My professor has a PhD in Poetry. The first half of the class was poetry, and this last half of the semester is fiction. The problem is she has no interest in seeing her fiction-oriented students succeed, and from her feedback on my stories, I'm fairly certain she's not even reading them from feedback like not being able to tell two different characters with different names were not the same person. But I digress. The student's story we were workshopping was about an nonathletic person going mountain climbing with his athletic friend, Charles. Charles spends the whole story pushing the protagonist forward and encouraging him, "You can do it!" and "We're almost there!" She tried to tell us Charles HAD to be the antagonist because he was the only other character in the story. So I called her out and told her the antagonist is whatever force that drives the conflict forward, as well as explaining the concept of Man vs Man, Man vs Self, Man vs Nature, etcetera. This woman is a college professor for ***** sake.
Today, I explained to my teacher that I wasn't at school yesterday due to three doctor appointments for my moderate epilepsy. Yesterday was senior skip day. She gave me detention for lying. FML
Today, I got a big math test back. Good news: I can connect abstract ideas beyond what was taught. Bad news: I can’t do simple math, such as 30/-5. I failed. FML
Today, my students are asking friends and family to come to a charity event. That would be all well if they weren't constantly mixing up "Rally Against Genocide" and "Support Genocide Victims" and telling everyone to come to the "Rally to Support Genocide". FML
Today, I skipped class. I had never done it before, so I was a little nervous, but it was on my bucket list so I gave it a shot. Later, I found out that the professor cancelled class within the first five minutes. Everyone who showed was given extra credit. FML
ChasingShadows67 tells us more.
OP here -- I'm a straight A student with a 4.0 GPA. I have my tuition paid for at the college of my dreams. My parents were extremely strict, so skipping class was never an option -- unless I was practically dying, I was going. So yeah, skipping a class was on my bucket list. As you can tell, it didn't work out so well.
Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML
Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML
Today, I learned that the new granite countertop in my parents' house cost $12,000. Coincidentally, this is also the amount of money I would have needed to go to the college of my dreams instead of the cheaper school I currently attend. FML
Today, I monitored my students as they conducted a lab experiment. I was walking to the other side of the room while looking at a student who seemed about to ask a question. When she looked up at me, I walked into a wall. FML
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