Anonymous · 19 July 2022, 10:00 ·Staten Island, United States

Legit

Today, I tried convincing my friend that his casual long-distance girlfriend, who won't meet him and never video/voice chats, is in all probability a guy catfishing him. He refuses to listen to me because her Facebook profile looks "legit". She only has one profile picture and her friends list is full of bots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150 You deserved it 139

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thanks a lot! · 18 July 2022, 04:00 ·United States

Spoiler alert

Today, I introduced my friend to a show I really like. I told her that I’m only halfway through the second season, but she should check it out. Since she’s on leave from work, she decided to binge watch every available episode, then text me multiple spoilers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060 You deserved it 227

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Anonymous · 12 July 2022, 02:00

Kitchen nightmares

Today, I walked into the kitchen and found a friend of my sister's stripped down to just her panties changing her clothes. In the kitchen. She had the nerve to call me a peeping Tom and slap me. Why was she even here without my sister, and why couldn’t she use the bathroom to change? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433 You deserved it 102

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Uber at midnight · 11 July 2022, 22:00 ·United States

No vacancy

Today, my friend invited me over for a sleepover. Only she didn’t tell me until it was time to go to bed that she expected me to sleep on the floor, as she had three dogs sleeping on the couch, and two more in her bed. She could’ve at least warned me to bring an air mattress or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205 You deserved it 127

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PoorAndHungry · 10 July 2022, 18:00

Treat yourself

Today, strapped for money, I asked one of my good friends to loan me some. She said no, because she’s broke herself. I later see her checked in on NOBU, a high class, expensive restaurant, on Facebook and she’d bought a new designer purse and shoes with the hashtag #TreatYourself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541 You deserved it 1 900

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Q strikes again · 3 July 2022, 00:00

Get better friends

Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 969

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19kwhatever · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Mount Vernon, United States

She's not wrong

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 374 You deserved it 14 748

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Anonymous · 27 June 2022, 14:00 ·Steele, United States

It's an emergency!

Today, my "friend" almost killed both of my cats by feeding them chocolate donuts, even after I slapped one out of his hand and spelled out to him exactly why chocolate is bad for cats. Just to rub more salt into the wound, I got pulled over for speeding while I was driving like mad to get to the vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957 You deserved it 161

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Anonymous · 25 June 2022, 12:00

Crushed

Today, I found out that my crush and best friend dumped her boyfriend, and she has been sexting two of our male friends who are married, with kids, and has started hooking up with a meth head. Guess I'm losing a lot of friends in the future… FML

I agree, your life sucks 830 You deserved it 169

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Drunken rampage?

Today, I woke up from sleeping at my friend's house with a bunch of other people, with my waist long hair cut into chunks on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 936 You deserved it 5 513

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Anonymous · 19 June 2022, 00:00 ·Sorrento, United States

Amogus

Today, I got fired. Not because of anything I did, but because my best friend, who'd I'd gotten hired, stood up for herself when both the owner's wife and daughter became disrespectful professionally. She then quit and got a job with a competitor. They started looking at her LinkedIn. Two weeks later, I get canned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219 You deserved it 129

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Anonymous · 17 June 2022, 17:59 ·Kennebunk, United States

Mixed signals

Today, I told my long-distance partner that I wanted to take them on a date to the aquarium next time they're in town. They said, "That would be my first date ever!" When I asked about when we went to the zoo and dinner last week, they said it was, "the closest thing to a date" they'd had. Apparently, we're actually just friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875 You deserved it 272

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Anonymous · 16 June 2022, 16:00 🌶️ Spicy

Mind your own business

Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268 You deserved it 255

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Anonymous · 16 June 2022, 14:00 🌶️ Spicy

Intrusive thoughts

Today, at a BBQ, my boyfriend's friend told us, “Oh, this reminds my of the time I got third degree burns on my dick.” He’s been trying to talk to me, and I keep thinking about it how it must look like Freddie Kruger's. I don’t know what I just agreed to help him with, but I’m sure it will be a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763 You deserved it 303

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Anonymous · 16 June 2022, 12:00

She has a bright future in politics

Today, I learned that my "friend" told my other friends that I was homophobic, sexist, and racist. None of that is true and she's just trying to turn everyone against me for no reason. She has also apparently been talking BS behind my back. Worst part is I did nothing to her. I don't know what to do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885 You deserved it 127

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Bugs · 14 June 2022, 04:00

Shut up and look out

Today, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were on our way to the nearest frozen yogurt place. The second we got out of the car, I immediately complained about how hot and bright it was outside. I was so busy complaining, I didn’t hear my friend telling me to watch out for the curb. I landed face first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 You deserved it 1 479

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jealous of my friend · 14 June 2022, 02:00

The betrayal

Today, after I invited my friend to a movie and she cancelled on me because she had to study, I obviously agreed and cancelled our tickets, I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across hers, and saw she was with one of her friends in that same movie theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355 You deserved it 122

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Destiny Wells Conner · 11 June 2022, 18:00

Misery likes company

Today, I told my friends that I got a therapist this past week. Every single one of them told me to quit seeing the therapist, and to just talk to them and do more drugs to feel more numb. I don't think that's the right thing to do, and they're actually arguing with me over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201 You deserved it 134

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Anonymous · 11 June 2022, 02:00 ·United States

Twist in my sobriety

Today, my group of friends officially cut ties with me. According to them, my girlfriend "has me whipped" and made me "boring", all because she helped me break free from my alcoholism and finally get sober (two years and eight months running). They told me to call them when I'm "ready to be fun again". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942 You deserved it 195

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not really · 8 June 2022, 10:00 ·United States

Communication Breakdown

Today, after hanging out with my boyfriend’s group once, they’ve decided I’m a “prissy stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s perfect.” I’m not at all. They just engage in nothing but insults and self-deprecating “jokes” without any real conversation. Sorry for not putting myself down for amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842 You deserved it 280

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Jenny Rotten

Today, I dyed my hair for the first time. It turned out great, and I couldn't wait to show it off during my night out with my friends. Everyone was so shocked or disgusted, I ended up claiming I lost a bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 055 You deserved it 2 016

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Anonymous · 6 June 2022, 14:00

What happens in Vegas…

Today, I got a hotel room for myself and 4 friends to have a great night out in town. The couple of the group had a huge argument, ruining the evening, then another friend took of in the middle of the night, and to top it off we all ended up catching Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819 You deserved it 343

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pickles! · 3 June 2022, 14:00

Little tease

Today, I was at a friend's house teasing her with a pickle. She hates them so I thought it would be funny to pretend to deep throat it. Her dad came in and startled me so bad, I inhaled it. She had to call 911 while he performed the Heimlich maneuver. I’m no longer welcome back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246 You deserved it 1 365

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Anonymous · 31 May 2022, 18:00

My loneliness is killing me

Today, I realized the most consistent friends I have are on weekly Disney+ Marvel and Star Wars shows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665 You deserved it 273

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GreatWeek · 31 May 2022, 00:01 ·Dighton, United States

A huge mess of stuff

Today, I had to help one of my best friends while he was having a seizure. Earlier this morning my longtime girlfriend broke up with me. Oh, and also earlier this week I found out my other best friend has cancer. Lord take me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041 You deserved it 124

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Sam · 27 May 2022, 16:00

Like the deserts miss the rain

Today, it's been a few days since our neighbour died. For the last 30 years, he and my husband have hated each other and disagreed on everything, no matter the subject, they would be on opposite sides of it. My husband is crying because they were best friends and he misses him. They loved to hate each other I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953 You deserved it 123

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hyphenated · 26 May 2022, 10:00

You sure it's just the posh name?

Today, for what seems like the thousandth time, one of my new friends has cut me out of their life after I told them my last name. It’s hyphenated and I’m a woman, which means I'm “automatically” a stuck-up bitch. I'm not married, I was born with this last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955 You deserved it 162

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Anonymous · 25 May 2022, 16:00 ·East Islip, United States

Bigmouth strikes again

Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352 You deserved it 841

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Anonymous · 23 May 2022, 04:00

The cheek of some people

Today, I stayed at my mate's house over the weekend, but his mother threw me out, saying I’m was taking advantage of her hospitality. First, it’s her son's house, so it’s not even her hospitality, but also I was helping redecorate the whole house for free, so how was I taking advantage? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150 You deserved it 106

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SingleAndHomeless · 22 May 2022, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

You must be kidding me

Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 925 You deserved it 151

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