Friends

Gratitude walks

By wasted money - 30/11/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I generously paid for my best friend to go to an event she's wanted to see her whole life. Instead of thanking me, she brought her children and made me pay for them too, complained that I hadn't chosen the seats she wanted, then blamed me when she got on the wrong train back to her hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 211

BFF from hell

By Anonymous - 25/11/2022 16:00

Today, I found out my husband cheated on me with my "best friend" on our 6-year anniversary, the 11th of November. He'd left the next morning with no explanation, and she even picked me up to go get ice cream. Three days later we even went Christmas shopping together. How could they do this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 256

Waitressing blues

By left out - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Spencer

Today, I sang "Happy Birthday" to my best friend. Sadly, it was while waitressing at work, where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 616

You deserved it 4 290

Not so BFF

By Anonymous - 24/11/2022 16:00 - United States - Spring

Today, I asked out the guy I like, and he said yes. Later, I found out that he used to date my BFF and he broke up with her right before I'd asked him. I left him saying he should have told me earlier and that I would be weird if we dated. I talked to my BFF about it and she got mad at me. She literally didn't even tell me about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 235

Bad friends

By Anonymous - 24/11/2022 02:00 - United States - Sewanee

Today, I just found out that my first-ever boyfriend has been cheating on me for our whole entire relationship. All my fake friends knew about the her, but they just "forgot to tell me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 104

Sex work is real work

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 16:00 - United States - Burke

Today, I made the coolest platonic friend who I really liked. She liked me too, until I accidentally found her setting up an OnlyFans and, in a fit of feeling very weird about it, confronted her. Now she won't talk to me at all and has blocked me on every single online platform you could imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 2 640

Not such a great friend

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 02:00

Today, I was looking at my best friend because I zoned out, I then turned around to look at my dog. When I looked back, he was on one knee, saying that, “This is terrible timing but I’ve always loved you, will you marry me?” Two days before my wedding with my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 192

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex hit me up out of the blue, so I texted our mutual friend to tell them what had happened. The friend then told my ex and he got mad, ending with him texting me, “Pop quiz: When’s the last time you took a shower?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 252

Timeshare

By Anonymous - 17/11/2022 02:00

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 345

The clichés are real

By Krish Kochar - 08/11/2022 16:00 - Canada

Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 891

Thanks, I guess…

By ButYTho - 06/11/2022 06:00 - Spain

Today, a friend and I celebrated our birthdays together with our mutual friends. I bought them a game from their favourite series, commissioned a sketch, and chipped with others to get them various other presents. I got a mug and a hentai t-shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 272

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - 01/11/2022 18:00

Today, I was at a restaurant with a friend when she said, "Oh, I have to arrange a meet up between you and a friend. She's just your type: she has daddy issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 181

Some friend…

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 16:00

Today, my friends and I went nuclear on a now former "friend," who we've discovered is a textbook narcissist. She unfriended all of us on all forms of social media, and tried to say WE unfriended HER, and overall tried to make it seem as though she was the victim. Thanks for proving my point, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 302

Fork in the road

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 06:00 - United States - Blanchard

Today, one of my best friends, someone I considered family, and whose kid I see as my nephew, picked a piece of shit dude she’s been seeing for 3 months over me. And no, I didn’t make her choose. He decided to be an ass to me and when I wasn’t OK with it, she just let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 194

Modern anxieties

By Cam - 26/10/2022 06:00

Today, one of my best friends got over 6k followers on Instagram in less than 2 months. I've had my account almost two years and can't get over 500. I'm the one that taught her all the "cheats" to get into the algorithm. They worked for her but not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 917

Good one

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 18:00 - United States - Lewisburg

Today, I found out that my friend's adult daughter Renee is actually just him catfishing his friends with actress Jessica Jade Andres's pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 157

Illegal and stupid

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 12:00

Today, it was my stag do. One minute I was at the pub buying a drink, the rest was a blur until I woke up completely naked in an ambulance, with all my friends standing over me. They'd put sleeping pills in my drink and hired an ambulance. It was my stag do prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 197

DO IT! DO THE THING!

By Aaaauuuugh? - 20/10/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally discovered thanks to my friends that I can do Tim Allen's "Home Improvement" grunt almost perfectly. Now every time my friends see me, they ask me to do it. One of them just showed me the Sonic Mania video where every sound is replaced by the grunt. This is going to get old extremely fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 174

It's a beautiful life

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 202

Lonely boy

By Corey - 18/10/2022 00:00 - United States - Darien

Today, it's been two years since I won a romantic dinner for two from a work raffle. It's been two years and I still haven't found anyone to go with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 134

New saying just dropped

By Evan - 10/10/2022 21:30 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 228

Long time coming

By Emma - 10/10/2022 03:30

Today, my best friend announced her engagement to my ex. We broke up two days ago. I’m no longer speaking to her. She tells me I’m being a drama queen and to “stop throwing a pity party” because “If he was the one he would still be with you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 132

Lock him up

By Homelesssoon - 08/10/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I visited a friend’s house. He has a vast collection of Cartier bracelets. Being strapped for cash and starving, I stole one of them when he wasn’t looking, thinking he wouldn’t notice one missing. I went to pawn the bracelet. It’s fake. Rent’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 3 972

For no one

By Anonymous - 07/10/2022 03:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought that something that happened with my friends last year had died down. I realised I was on the wrong side of the argument, so I apologised. My friend apologised as well while I was absent, and apparently everyone was crying and hugging. You know the response I got from them? "Umm… OK?" I swear everyone hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 369

More issues than Vogue

By Anonymous - 07/10/2022 00:30

Today, and thanks to my psychologist, I realized I have yet again wasted years on a one-sided friendship, after said friend cut me out of his life without even speaking to me. The reason? I told him to talk to the people he had issues with before cutting them out of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 194

Whining at life

By 847 - 05/10/2022 22:30 - United States

Today, to get my wife off my back, I introduced our two single friends who are both into QAnon. Not only did they not click, but now they both call us regularly to embellish the insane difference between their beliefs and "what that moron believes." Same words from both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 591

Fetishizating weeboos are cringe

By wtfffbro - 02/10/2022 22:30 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I randomly ghosted an ex-friend and blocked her on my social media a few years ago for being too obsessed with Asian culture, I also saw the same girl making out with the same guy I’ve had a crush on the last few weeks. They’ve already started dating as of last night. Karma: 1 Me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 1 207

Seek help

By Anonymous - 26/09/2022 12:00

Today, my girlfriend chose to hate-stalk her ex-best friend's social media, then angrily rant to me for over an hour about what she saw. This happens three or four times a week. They last spoke over a decade ago. The last time I suggested therapy, she didn't speak to me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 252

It's good to talk

By kanenakid - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 580

You deserved it 6 827

Bad girls

By Anonymous - 22/09/2022 01:30 - Austria - Graz

Today, I was meeting up with my three best friends from high school. I spent the entire day and some money to plan a wild girls' night, only to find out their day ends in the afternoon. All three wear ankle bracelets and have a strict curfew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 268

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 473

You deserved it 8 906

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 075

You deserved it 9 056

Today, the parking shuttle for work pulled away right as I was walking up to it. I was late to work. For the second day in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 737

Today, I looked at cute baby clothes while my friend was in the check-out line at JC Penny. It made me want to cry. I'm almost 33, childless, and so unattractive I couldn't pay someone to be into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 225

Today, despite leaving early to go to work, I still ended up late because some dude decided to have an argument with the bus driver, delaying us by 20 minutes. As a result, I was fired without a write-up. This was my first ever time being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 78

Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 361