Tree Hugger · 23 December 2022, 00:00 ·United States

It's all downhill from here…

Today, I went skiing with a friend of mine. He went first. I heard a loud *THUD* and went to investigate. When I went past him, he yelled, "I ran into a tree. I don't feel so good!" He said it in such a defeated and humorous way, that I crashed into a tree myself because I couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 924

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YEET · 21 December 2022, 12:00

Slam dunk

Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931 You deserved it 142

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The bitch is back · 20 December 2022, 18:00 ·United States

Real friends

Today, a former friend of mine, with whom I viciously cut ties a few months ago after I found out she's a narcissist, was one of very few people to wish me a happy birthday. Thanks, but no thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645 You deserved it 444

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Cellist · 14 December 2022, 15:00

Best day of your life

Today, it's the wedding of a two friends that I introduced each other to about a year ago. I'll be enjoying it on my couch. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132 You deserved it 124

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Anonymous · 14 December 2022, 00:00 🌶️ Spicy

Think before you drink

Today, after I had drunk sex with my lesbian best friend a few months ago, she’s now pregnant and isn’t my friend anymore, because I apparently ruined her life, as her girlfriend dumped her, she’s already getting fat, and it’s too late to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497 You deserved it 1 853

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Anonymous · 11 December 2022, 09:00

Weird relationship

Today, my new girlfriend introduced me to her bisexual best friend. I can’t help but find it weird that he helped her fake tan, completely naked, or the time he helped her wax her muff, also completely naked, while she waxed his balls and ass crack. This might be too weird for me to tolerate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277 You deserved it 228

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Damn it, Charles · 9 December 2022, 21:00

Hypochondriac

Today, I took my friend to the emergency room because he was having heart problems. The doctors recognized him, and one of them had something to say: "Charles, can you not wait until you're practically dying to seek medical treatment?" This is gonna be a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 2 December 2022, 10:00 ·Arlington, United States

All's well that ends well

Today, my boyfriend and our so-called “friends” left us stranded at a park, when our phones and wallets were also missing. I had to walk nearly four miles in tears before I eventually got a ride from a stranger. Luckily, my phone was returned to my mom, but I’m still in tears from the distress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797 You deserved it 538

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wasted money · 30 November 2022, 22:00 ·Australia

Gratitude walks

Today, I generously paid for my best friend to go to an event she's wanted to see her whole life. Instead of thanking me, she brought her children and made me pay for them too, complained that I hadn't chosen the seats she wanted, then blamed me when she got on the wrong train back to her hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211 You deserved it 212

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Anonymous · 25 November 2022, 16:00 🌶️ Spicy

BFF from hell

Today, I found out my husband cheated on me with my "best friend" on our 6-year anniversary, the 11th of November. He'd left the next morning with no explanation, and she even picked me up to go get ice cream. Three days later we even went Christmas shopping together. How could they do this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029 You deserved it 259

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left out · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Spencer, United States

Waitressing blues

Today, I sang "Happy Birthday" to my best friend. Sadly, it was while waitressing at work, where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 621 You deserved it 4 290

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Anonymous · 24 November 2022, 16:00 ·Spring, United States

Not so BFF

Today, I asked out the guy I like, and he said yes. Later, I found out that he used to date my BFF and he broke up with her right before I'd asked him. I left him saying he should have told me earlier and that I would be weird if we dated. I talked to my BFF about it and she got mad at me. She literally didn't even tell me about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758 You deserved it 236

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Anonymous · 24 November 2022, 02:00 ·Sewanee, United States

Bad friends

Today, I just found out that my first-ever boyfriend has been cheating on me for our whole entire relationship. All my fake friends knew about the her, but they just "forgot to tell me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 936 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 22 November 2022, 16:00 ·Burke, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Sex work is real work

Today, I made the coolest platonic friend who I really liked. She liked me too, until I accidentally found her setting up an OnlyFans and, in a fit of feeling very weird about it, confronted her. Now she won't talk to me at all and has blocked me on every single online platform you could imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 2 662

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Anonymous · 21 November 2022, 02:00

Not such a great friend

Today, I was looking at my best friend because I zoned out, I then turned around to look at my dog. When I looked back, he was on one knee, saying that, “This is terrible timing but I’ve always loved you, will you marry me?” Two days before my wedding with my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595 You deserved it 192

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Anonymous · 19 November 2022, 12:00 ·United States

With friends like these…

Today, my ex hit me up out of the blue, so I texted our mutual friend to tell them what had happened. The friend then told my ex and he got mad, ending with him texting me, “Pop quiz: When’s the last time you took a shower?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 603 You deserved it 255

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Anonymous · 17 November 2022, 02:00

Timeshare

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829 You deserved it 347

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Krish Kochar · 8 November 2022, 16:00 ·Canada

The clichés are real

Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305 You deserved it 895

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ButYTho · 6 November 2022, 06:00 ·Spain

Thanks, I guess…

Today, a friend and I celebrated our birthdays together with our mutual friends. I bought them a game from their favourite series, commissioned a sketch, and chipped with others to get them various other presents. I got a mug and a hentai t-shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827 You deserved it 273

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Anonymous · 1 November 2022, 18:00

Sounds promising

Today, I was at a restaurant with a friend when she said, "Oh, I have to arrange a meet up between you and a friend. She's just your type: she has daddy issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 736 You deserved it 182

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Anonymous · 29 October 2022, 16:00

Some friend…

Today, my friends and I went nuclear on a now former "friend," who we've discovered is a textbook narcissist. She unfriended all of us on all forms of social media, and tried to say WE unfriended HER, and overall tried to make it seem as though she was the victim. Thanks for proving my point, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707 You deserved it 305

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Anonymous · 28 October 2022, 06:00 ·Blanchard, United States

Fork in the road

Today, one of my best friends, someone I considered family, and whose kid I see as my nephew, picked a piece of shit dude she’s been seeing for 3 months over me. And no, I didn’t make her choose. He decided to be an ass to me and when I wasn’t OK with it, she just let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832 You deserved it 194

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Cam · 26 October 2022, 06:00

Modern anxieties

Today, one of my best friends got over 6k followers on Instagram in less than 2 months. I've had my account almost two years and can't get over 500. I'm the one that taught her all the "cheats" to get into the algorithm. They worked for her but not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361 You deserved it 924

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Anonymous · 23 October 2022, 18:00 ·Lewisburg, United States

Good one

Today, I found out that my friend's adult daughter Renee is actually just him catfishing his friends with actress Jessica Jade Andres's pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 23 October 2022, 12:00

Illegal and stupid

Today, it was my stag do. One minute I was at the pub buying a drink, the rest was a blur until I woke up completely naked in an ambulance, with all my friends standing over me. They'd put sleeping pills in my drink and hired an ambulance. It was my stag do prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042 You deserved it 198

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Aaaauuuugh? · 20 October 2022, 04:00 ·United States

DO IT! DO THE THING!

Today, I accidentally discovered thanks to my friends that I can do Tim Allen's "Home Improvement" grunt almost perfectly. Now every time my friends see me, they ask me to do it. One of them just showed me the Sonic Mania video where every sound is replaced by the grunt. This is going to get old extremely fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672 You deserved it 175

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Anonymous · 18 October 2022, 16:00

It's a beautiful life

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774 You deserved it 202

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Corey · 18 October 2022, 00:00 ·Darien, United States

Lonely boy

Today, it's been two years since I won a romantic dinner for two from a work raffle. It's been two years and I still haven't found anyone to go with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868 You deserved it 136

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Evan · 10 October 2022, 21:30 ·United States

New saying just dropped

Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596 You deserved it 231

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Emma · 10 October 2022, 03:30

Long time coming

Today, my best friend announced her engagement to my ex. We broke up two days ago. I’m no longer speaking to her. She tells me I’m being a drama queen and to “stop throwing a pity party” because “If he was the one he would still be with you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364 You deserved it 133

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