Communication Breakdown

By not really - 08/06/2022 01:00 - United States

Today, after hanging out with my boyfriend’s group once, they’ve decided I’m a “prissy stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s perfect.” I’m not at all. They just engage in nothing but insults and self-deprecating “jokes” without any real conversation. Sorry for not putting myself down for amusement. FML
I agree, your life sucks 810
You deserved it 248

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Small groups tend to have their own norms of “friendly behavior”. Often boys and young men are prone to sarcastic put-downs. It’s a way of jostling for dominance without getting into a fight. To reduce the level of group’s hostility sometimes people make self-depreciating remarks to diffuse the hostility. And, Just because you are a couple does not automatically mean that you enjoy everything together. If you don’t feel comfortable “hanging with the guys” it’s OK to say so. Let him have his guy friends, though.

slhiggx 17

They sound like a bunch of uneducated self hating bunch. You aren’t a prick or anything of that nature just bc you don’t think negativity is worth your time. A couple self deprecating jokes from a comedy, or moments of awkwardness is normal. But if that’s the only way they bond? They have some things to work through. And a judgement lot if they are offended you don’t act like them.

Comments

mattiagardin 15
slhiggx 17
slhiggx 17

They sound like a bunch of uneducated self hating bunch. You aren’t a prick or anything of that nature just bc you don’t think negativity is worth your time. A couple self deprecating jokes from a comedy, or moments of awkwardness is normal. But if that’s the only way they bond? They have some things to work through. And a judgement lot if they are offended you don’t act like them.

If you're not perfect, you could have joked about one of your very few imperfections and made an effort to fit in with the group. I can see why they think you think you're better than them.

Small groups tend to have their own norms of “friendly behavior”. Often boys and young men are prone to sarcastic put-downs. It’s a way of jostling for dominance without getting into a fight. To reduce the level of group’s hostility sometimes people make self-depreciating remarks to diffuse the hostility. And, Just because you are a couple does not automatically mean that you enjoy everything together. If you don’t feel comfortable “hanging with the guys” it’s OK to say so. Let him have his guy friends, though.

Sonotsuave 35

I think that’s way too quick a judgement call to make after meeting someone just once, & pretty rude. I’d limit your time with them, & when you are around them, find ways to talk about neutral topics, change the subject when they start being obnoxious, or hell, tease them the **** back. If they get butthurt and insecure about their masculinity, just say “What? I’m only making the same jokes you make!”