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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Family

    Housekeeper

    By Anonymous - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

    Today, I took my parents and 3 sisters to the airport so they could take a trip to Hawaii. I wasn't invited because they don't like my husband. They asked me to watch the dog and water the plants. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 57 030
    You deserved it 7 454
    Share  

    Strong bonds

    By Anonymous - 02/05/2009 08:12 - United States

    Today, my 6 year-old daughter asked, "What would happen to me if you and daddy died?" I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said, "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 102 505
    You deserved it 10 030
    Share  

    Get up!

    By Casino - 02/04/2009 01:17 - United States

    Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 484
    You deserved it 102 505
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    Keywords

    Health NSFW Intimacy Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Cooking Family Depression Mental health School Education Customers Work Parenting Kids Plumbing Animals Coworkers Relatable Birthday Annoying Ragebait Racism My ex Teenagers Parents Technology
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 772
    You deserved it 12 586
    Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 368
    You deserved it 149
    Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 47 998
    You deserved it 9 874
    Today, I thought my face was breaking out with pimples, and I thought it was weird because I never break out. And I noticed all these "bug bites" all over my body. When I got home, I realized those weren't bug bites. I have chicken pox, and my high school graduation is tomorrow. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 64 319
    You deserved it 3 724
    Today, I was hanging out with friends when my ex called me, but I ignored the call because I don’t want drama. About five minutes later she shows up and starts yelling at me on how I’m so worthless and useless. She left almost immediately after this, but when I went home she was talking to my fiancée. Like, WTF? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 740
    You deserved it 147
    Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 921
    You deserved it 410
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