Doctor

Creepy nevertheless

By humdrummitydrum - 19/08/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 255

You deserved it 6 685

Nice

By ChubbyButt - 16/01/2013 10:48 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 141

You deserved it 7 045

Quacks

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 15:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went to see the doctor to find out if the injury to my foot will ever heal right, because it's swollen to the size of a bowling ball, and I was hoping to start a method of treatment to get it back to what it was like before. When I asked, the doctor said, "It might, might not." So much for that hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 89

Everyone's a critic

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, I finally left a one-star review for my doctor’s office. I mentioned my doctor was epic, but called them out on their poor billing practices. I got a call saying my awesome doctor actually owns the clinic. My next appointment is going to be so awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 358

Healthcare in the USA

By still can’t sleep - 21/12/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, despite changing my eating habits, exercising regularly, and taking melatonin, I still can’t sleep. When I told my doctor, she prescribed antidepressants. This is the third time she’s tried to give them to me. That’s her solution for everything, and my insurance won’t give me another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 158

Unfinished Somniloquy

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 23:17 - United States

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 369

You deserved it 25 985

It's the Final Countdown

By Mightytall - 11/09/2019 00:01

Today, I had a very long wait at the doctor's. The three plastic plants in the waiting area have 163 leaves each, the patient information poster on the wall has 127 words, the longest word has 19 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 179

What? How?

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, I was at the chiropractor's being examined. As we were finding all my problem areas, she said to me, “It’s almost like you spend a lot of time with all your weight on one shoulder while doing a repetitive twisting motion.” She just described mine and my wife’s favourite sex position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 222

I guess that's why they call it an intravitreal injection

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 08:02

Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 215

Helpful advice

By Anonymous - 06/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I went to my doctor to discuss my chronic insomnia. After I'd spent ten minutes describing how exhausted I am and how it’s affecting my life, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Have you tried just closing your eyes and clearing your mind?" I paid a $50 copay to be told how to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 98

Don't get high on your own supply

By jarv49 - 16/03/2012 17:24 - Australia

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 412

You deserved it 2 448

Second opinion, please

By fishyrael - 25/08/2021 22:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I went to a new doctor for an injury. Instead, the doctor only focused on my weight and tried to basically prescribe me anorexia. She tried to tell me that 750 calories a day was fine and brushed off my exercise regimen as, "Exercise is great, but you'll lose weight faster if there are no calories to burn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 191

Stay at home

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 08:01 - Canada

Today, after working several months through the pandemic at a medical clinic, my coworkers and I got a gift to thank us for our hard work during this time. Was it a raise or a bonus? Nah. Just a small Tupperware container. We were also told later on that all time-off requests were suspended until further notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 90

Thanks, dad

By manoloonfire - 21/12/2020 15:04 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I'm a MD who graduated with honors. I can't work right now because I'm preparing myself for the medical residence exam. I want to be a cardiovascular surgeon. My dad is ashamed of me and treats me like shit, because I don't work and I'm 26 years-old, living with my parents while I'm studying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 127

What the…

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 04:18 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. Six, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 082

You deserved it 6 396

Very professional

By Really? I am? - 18/10/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, like every other month, I accompanied my paternal grandfather to visit his doctor who's as old as he is, and whom I never spoke to ever. As I waited outside, for the first time ever, grandpa had me come in to meet his doctor. The very moment I stepped into his office, he greeted me with a, "He's obese!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 235

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 19:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I took a day off from work for a doctor's appointment. It ended up taking a lot longer than I expected, because while I was on my way, my mom called to inform me that my great aunt passed away this morning. As a result, I showed up extremely late and was berated. And the worst part? It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 177

Love you too

By Blinken - 15/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I visited my grandma like I do every other day to tell her that I love her, and to remind her that Bud Light and Marlboro Lights is NOT part and what her doctor meant when he placed her on a "light diet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 96

Get a second opinion

By Anonymous - 14/09/2022 11:30 - Lithuania

Today, I went to see a doctor due to some gastric distress I have. I came out with directions to buy a blood pressure monitor, I'm prohibited from doing sports, and have a possible diagnosis of arterial hypertension which I am way too young to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 133

Such a rewarding career

By DirtyNurse - 05/12/2020 07:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 192

Crossed purposes

By Anonymous - 03/12/2021 19:02 - Canada - Bienfait

Today, I found out my doctors could've killed me by mixing two meds that react badly and shouldn't be mixed. I've been taking them together for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 87

Kids talk

By SerenityJ - 27/09/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 056

You deserved it 7 159

It's not what you think!

By me. - 22/06/2012 07:28 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I called my doctor from my office. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed, "I definitely prefer oral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 222

You deserved it 3 780

Butterfingers

By dumbbitch - 25/03/2021 09:34

Today, I gave myself burns on my inner thigh by dropping my curling iron. Instead of a cute date at a restaurant, I had a date with the doctors in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 198

heeeeyitsbrittney tells us more.

heeeeyitsbrittney 12

Thursday 25 March 2021 9:20

Op here! Unfortunately I was using a brand new curling iron that had changeable barrels. The barrel wasn’t snapped into place completely, so while I was curling my hair the barrel fell off and onto my leg. Because it fell off the handle I couldn’t pick it up so I had to swat it off of my leg. Unfortunately because it sat a little longer than it should of (the temp on it was 450 Fahrenheit) it caused two 3rd degree burns on my upper thigh. Because of the severity of the burn and the fact it was already blistering and cracking I had to make a trip to the ER. Thankfully it won’t scar but the road to recovery will be interesting and I definitely learned a couple lessons.

Dr. Dick

By Peter - 11/05/2019 14:00

Spicy

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend has been lying to me about having a long-term illness requiring multiple trips to the doctor's. She isn't ill, she was cheating on me with the local GP. So I’ve literally driven her to the clinic and then sat in the waiting room while she screwed the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 322

You deserved it 352

Sprain in the ass

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 16:02

Today, after two months of recovering from a sprained ankle, the doctor told me I was fully healed. On the way to my car from the doctor's, I stepped on some leaves, which were covering a small hole. A hole big enough for me to trip on and give me another sprained ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 127

Quack

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 03:14 - New Zealand - Takanini

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 717

You deserved it 1 595

Sudarsky's gas giant classification

By leah - 06/02/2021 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, despite not eating for a week, my digestive system is still overflowing with gas and I fart every 2 minutes. No medicines help, and the six doctors I’ve been to have not been able to find anything wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 109

Plop

By TimeForACareerChange - 18/07/2012 00:54 - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 459

You deserved it 2 339

I'm not making shit up, I swear

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, I'm waiting to be examined thanks to a clitoral abscess. It burst yesterday and has now shrunk to nothing, so the doctor will probably dismiss me again. This is the eighth time in five months, and no one will take me seriously. I'm in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 144

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Shopping AITA Awkward Work Make up Money Liar Weird Kids Love Anniversary Health Confused Healthy Lifestyle Miscellaneous Neighbours Noise Parents Friends NSFW Sex Intimacy Relatable School Education Embarrassing Birthday Weddings Clumsy LGBTQIA+

The Top

The Top

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 041

You deserved it 2 245

Today, I got sick of my mother-in-law telling me everything I do brings shame to the family, so I meanly asked if her other son spending three months in prison was shameful or if he was already forgiven. It turned out that he told her he'd spent three months touring Brazil. Cue massive family screaming match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 82

Today, I started the first day of my job as newspaper distributor, after a year of struggling to find a job. I got stuck in an elevator for two hours very early in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 73

Today, at an 8 a.m. spin class, I knelt on the floor to set up my bike. The bike next to me was too close, and while the girl on it was pedaling to warm up, she pedaled down hard onto my heel, breaking my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 478

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 764

You deserved it 1 829

Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 912

You deserved it 3 128