Christmas

Alexa, play "Blue Christmas" by Low

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 21:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I had the worst Xmas of my life. My wife has been screeching all day about my ex-wife being at a party, As if I invited her, or even had any knowledge of her being there. I even had to go outside to hide my tears of anger and frustration. This has been going on for 30 years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 245

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 1 058

Christmas shopping spree tip

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband held my hand for our entire Xmas Eve shopping trip. As soon as we got home, he and our son actually compared the receipts to last years Xmas Eve receipts, and declared it to be true that holding my hand stopped me buying so much crap, and saved over £150 compared to last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 907

Let people believe what they believe

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 15:00

Today, my wife and I finally got in touch with a therapist to deal with the fact that our daughter resolutely believes in Santa, despite being told by everyone and by common sense that he is made up. Before you make mad comments, be aware she is 17 and has no mental disorders we are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 244

Festive spirit ruined

By MF. - 19/12/2024 03:00 - North Macedonia

Today, I won't be getting any Christmas presents because the Secret Santa activity I take part in was canceled. Why? Some jerks messaged racial slurs to the organizers, who decided volunteering to do something fun for people wasn't worth the abuse. Thanks, idiots (and my apologies to the organizers). FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 111

…and a Happy New Year!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2022 09:00 - Canada

Today, for the first time in years, my period is early. I woke up at 5 a.m. with the worst cramps I've ever had in my life. Medicine isn't helping. It's literally so bad I feel like I want to throw up. It's fucking Christmas but hey, it wouldn't be 2022 if my garbage pile of a body wasn't ruining something for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 173

Snooping

By Anonymous - 22/12/2012 11:15 - Australia

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for Christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 596

You deserved it 76 973

Merry Christmas!

By yek - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 413

You deserved it 1 682

Hail Santa

By Holidayruined - 26/12/2021 10:59

Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 247

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after mom and dad divorced, remarried people who already had kids, then had more kids, I have 3 siblings, 5 half-siblings, and 3 step-siblings. The reason I’m telling you this is because this Christmas I apparently got lost in the crowd and both mom and dad forgot to buy me a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 81

December baby

By December Birthdays Suck - 07/12/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, my birthday is in two weeks. I began looking up significant events that occurred on my birthday just to feel as though it actually matters to someone. Few of my friends remember it, and the ones that do have trouble trying to squeeze it into their schedules without screwing up their Christmas plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 132

Entitled

By Bad friend - 19/12/2020 02:04 - United States

Today, after I'd mailed my friend her Christmas gifts since we can’t see each other, she called me ranting because the gift I sent her dog only cost $5. According to her, that means I must not really care as her dog is her “baby”. I bought gifts for all 5 of her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 107

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I drew the short straw to play Santa at the office Christmas party. As I bent down to give my coworker a gift, my "Ho, ho, ho!" turned into "Ow, ow, ow!" because I threw out my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 129

Thanks, I guess

By whut - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, for my Christmas bonus at work, I got a potted plant and some lotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 723

You deserved it 3 149

Quality family time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 995

You deserved it 3 091

Cartoonish

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 02:01

Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 507

Holiday cheer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 08:02 - United States - Gwynn Oak

Today, I’m convinced my mother in law comes over every holiday just to make me miserable. She comes in, criticizes me food, snarks then ignores the kids. I dread every holiday and spend it getting drunk and casting F-you glances at my husband. Is it wrong to buy her a casket for the next holiday? Is it really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 177

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time!

By Hoe, hoe, hoe - 24/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my ex posted a rant on Facebook about how much he hates this time of year. He ended it with "and now the bitch broke up with me two days before Christmas." He conveniently left out the part where "the bitch" caught him having sex with another woman last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 95

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I showed up at my mom’s with homemade soup, since she said she wasn’t hosting Christmas Eve because she had the flu. My entire family was there without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 106

He studied the blade

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 05:59

Today, I dropped and snapped a carving knife that’s been in my girlfriend's family for generations, and is used to carve the meat every Christmas. I'm a huge coward, so I hid it back in its box but when it gets taken out again Christmas Day 2022, I think I’m a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 1 482

Christmas Watts

By Conflicted as hell - 23/12/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I’m trying to figure out how to spend Christmas with my wife and kids… and my girlfriend. I’m planning to divorce my wife in January, because doing it on Christmas would hurt them all, but I don’t want my girlfriend to know I’m married or else she’ll leave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 2 533

By Crys - 29/12/2018 12:00 - Canada - Kingston

Today, I decided to finish up some Christmas shopping. Instead, I ended up having to buy a present for myself - a new alternator after my car died and left me stranded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 344

You deserved it 245

Old man yells at cloud

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, it only took my dad 10 minutes after I'd arrived at my parents' house for him to say that the actor scheduled to be the new Doctor Who couldn't be Doctor Who because "He's black!" I did try pointing out that Doctor Who is an alien with two hearts but… I gave up after that. Merry Christmas, yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 203

All things must pass

By Female Quasimodo - 30/11/2023 00:00

Today, I realized that everytime I get close to a guy, they either straight up friendzone me, or they string me along the talking stage until they find someone else. The holidays are coming up. This will be yet another year spending it alone without that special someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 194

Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, It’s almost been a year since my husband dumped me which was on… Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 97

Moment of self-realization

By Bad fiancee - 19/12/2024 23:00 - Romania

Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 617

Renovations

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 19:59 - Germany - Neusalza-spremberg

Today, after buying an old house that lacks plumbing a few weeks ago, I’m still crapping in a bucket in the barn. My two favorite Christmas gifts are still 2 pieces of rubber to dampen the noise from my new sewage pump and a used ceramic toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 339

Sounds wonderful

By hermit's life - 25/12/2016 07:11 - United States - Sellersburg

Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 402

You deserved it 1 374

Merry Christmas, or not

By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 05:02

Today, I got a quick COVID test and got a positive result. Christmas is in 3 days, my son and husband have to stay with my mom and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I've never been away from them this long and it is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 1 464

Keep him

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 15:00

Today, the county jail called. My estranged husband is being released, after spending a quality, week-long visit for restraining order violations. Merry Christmas to me and the only peace I've felt in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 137

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 237

Today, I inherited several buttloads of money from my grandmother, including property, and by gosh did so many relatives appear from the woodwork to remind me of money granny owed them, or how they just needed an investment to kickstart their business venture. The whole lot of them can screw off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 150

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 099

You deserved it 34 019

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 756

You deserved it 4 785

Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 373

You deserved it 4 626

Today, I woke up to a red, raised, extremely itchy rash covering my whole body, face included. I have an 18-hour bus ride to look forward to this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 306

You deserved it 228