All the FMLs

Victim blaming needs to die

By KitDi19 - 06/07/2021 18:01

Today, I was hit on by a guy while I was walking my dog. He said some crude stuff about my chest. I called my husband to pick me up, and after he'd got me my husband blamed me for it, saying I should dress more conservatively. I was wearing a tank top with a zip up hoodie (unzipped) over it, jeans, and flip flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 191

Public Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, my partner was driving. We were coming up to a sharp bend up a hill when suddenly a girl and a boy came speeding down the hill on a scooter. My partner stopped well before, but they fell off the kerb. We got out to check they were OK. The girl blamed us and kicked me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 104

GHOSTS!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 11:01 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 94

SIKE!

By Scared - 06/07/2021 08:01

Today, in my psychology class, the professor had us write down our name and birthday on one side of the paper and on the other side put down a mental disorder we would like to know more about. I was going to write 'Social anxiety disorder' but I was too worried about what people would think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 257

I had no idea!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, I found out my ex had been writing about our relationship to Postsecret. Apparently, she'd been sorry and wanted me back if I still loved her. I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. I left after 8 months of unreturned texts, calls, emails, and meet-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 99

Nice day for a picnic

By litterbug - 06/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 123

Grossed out

By eww David - 06/07/2021 02:01

Today, my friend is upset with me since I never want to hang out at her house or eat her food. The problem is she has multiple dog beds in her kitchen and a cat litter box under her dining room table. I love her and invite her to hang out other places, but she’s still offended I won’t go to her’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 157

Pillow Fight Club!

By Crushingdefeat - 06/07/2021 00:03 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 151

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 22:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 184

Circular

By Mario Hugo - 05/07/2021 20:00

Today, I was tested positive for Covid-19, after suffering with some of the symptoms of the disease two days ago. Last week, I had to pretend I was infected with it to avoid going to a friend's party, as my ex-girlfriend would be there. Ain't life a bitch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 1 446

Today, on Judge Judy…

By grieving - 05/07/2021 18:01 - Australia

Today, my grandpa died suddenly. About a month ago, he gifted me a few thousand dollars to buy a used car. My uncle is now demanding I return it, saying I can't prove that my grandfather agreed to it, and that he wants his rightful share of the inheritance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 73

Pump and dump

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 16:00

Today, my husband had to admit that he lost 5000$ on a cryptocurrency scam that some asshole Twitch streamer convinced him to invest in via Twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 173

Back and forth

By coolrunnings1021 - 05/07/2021 14:01

Today, my wife is a tennis fan and is watching Wimbledon. I hate tennis, but she gets in a mood if I suggest we watch anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 704

I'm just saying…

By dirty boy - 05/07/2021 11:00

Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 133

Can't win

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 08:00

Today, like nearly every morning, I got yelled at by a relative because I got up late. Nearly every night, I lie in bed with anxiety attacks because of her daily insults. I get up late to avoid her, but she decided that I sleep great, which makes her angry. She also gets angry if I get up earlier than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 133

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 06:01 - United States - Steele

Today, after asking my family to quiet down at a restaurant, my mom told me to go outside. In 100+ degree weather. So I did, and after what seemed like an hour, my family ran out screaming because they thought I'd been kidnapped. I nearly got heatstroke to show my family that sensory overload is real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 314

Annoying internal jukebox

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 04:00

Today, I can remember enough of a song for it to be stuck in my head, but not enough of it to help me identify the song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 145

Classic

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 01:59

Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 139

Startled

By not a cheater - 05/07/2021 00:01 - United States

Today, I was writing in a journal as part of my therapy. I jumped and hid it when my boyfriend startled me by coming in. He now swears I must be cheating, that I’m keeping secrets from him and I trust a stranger with my personal thoughts more than I trust him. That’s kinda the point of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 221

Shit yourself time

By Seth - 04/07/2021 22:01

Today, on my way to a job interview, I saw a dog running down the road so I stopped to pet it. It was a wolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 568

Where did you guys come from?

By Brad - 04/07/2021 21:59 - United States

Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 91

FUPA kings

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 18:00

Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 159

Sprain in the ass

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 16:02

Today, after two months of recovering from a sprained ankle, the doctor told me I was fully healed. On the way to my car from the doctor's, I stepped on some leaves, which were covering a small hole. A hole big enough for me to trip on and give me another sprained ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 127

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 1 039

Respect Independence Day!

By unpatriotic - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Eugene

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 021

You deserved it 8 152

Sunday morning bliss

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 10:59

Today, my alarm clock consisted of my children stomping on my manhood while dumping Froot Loops on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 236

Creepy Crawly

By chelseasdead - 04/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 145

Timing is everything

By unluckypanda - 04/07/2021 04:04 - United States - Makawao

Today, I had a photoshoot planned weeks ago, getting one of the last coveted spots. My boyfriend couldn’t even show up on time. It was a sunrise shoot. We arrived once the sun had been up for 25 mins already. He wondered "what the big deal is?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 217

Not really a good sign

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 02:01

Today, my long distance girlfriend of 6 months, who landed in canada last week, and for whom I was supposed to travel from Toronto to Vancouver next week to meet her for the first time, blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 203

Low key

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 00:01 - Australia - Smithfield

Today, my family is placing bets on my being pregnant. I'm experiencing a very painful miscarriage and no one knows. I didn't want to eat a pre-made gas station salad when I visited for lunch and apparently the only explanation could be pregnancy, not that I didn't want to die from food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 119

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Embarrassing Gross Poopoo peepee Love Medication Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Birthday Mysterious Weird Ghosting Haircut Money Awkward Painful My ex Sex Art Cute Surprise Work Roommate Fire Neighbours Noise Games Weddings Suspicious

The Top

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 614

You deserved it 3 954

Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 809

You deserved it 3 235

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 331

You deserved it 9 306

Friendship is no joke

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 81

Today, I discovered that I have a condition in which saliva frequently falls out of my mouth for no apparent reason. I’m 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 83

Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 198