by AnAngryyGiraffe / 11/02/2016 at 3:56pm / United States (California) / Work
by mycountryisdumb / 11/09/2016 at 1:54am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by birthday blues / 11/08/2016 at 2:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SnapeIsGood / 11/08/2016 at 4:44am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Health
Tripartita's comment : And now I'm imagining somebody slowly pulling into a parking spot, feeling a dull thud as their car comes to an unexpected stop, and thinking: "Oh, fuck, I just hit the gym! My car—wait, 'hit the gym'?! Haha, I hit the gym… with my car! This is gold! What's the name of that app again? Fuck My Day?"
by Beard / 11/08/2016 at 6:14am / Work
Today, while reading the newspaper, I noticed that an ad had been placed for my job. I asked my boss for a week off so that I could fly home for my father's funeral. No wonder she was so cool with it. FML
by Mitch / 11/07/2016 at 11:50pm / Work
Today, I thought I was being a good worker by showing a mother and daughter several rooms before they settled on one. Turns out Mommy dearest only wanted a place for her brat to throw a party. The cops found alcohol, drugs, and guns. This from the people who complained about a loose chair arm. FML
by naivemisanthrope / 11/07/2016 at 2:36pm / Work
by Anonymous / 11/07/2016 at 10:48am / Work
by invasive species / 11/07/2016 at 10:08am / Miscellaneous
masmalaque's comment : Your Dad agreed to your step-mom to move in with you without introducing her first to the family? Didn't they invite you to their wedding?
by shanson / 11/07/2016 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I spent an hour pulling poop-covered prickles out of my husky's butt. A duck had startled him while he was doing his business and his first thought was to run, mid-poop, into a prickle bush. FML
by Alittlebitiffy / 11/07/2016 at 8:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, I went into work, thinking it was my last day before I start my new job, as my 2-week notice said to the managers that I can't work after today. None of them believed that I was actually capable of getting a better job and thought my 2-week notice was a joke. FML
by work hard / 11/07/2016 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Welshite's comment : And that's when you moon-walk out the door while giving them a parting wave in the form of a one-finger salute.