Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML
by Rowaelin16 / 09/22/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
by nopenopenopenope / 09/22/2016 at 11:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I was fired without warning from my job because I was not consulting my boss about things like washing dishes and throwing away garbage. Basically, I was fired for being too good at my job. FML
by Worky Workerton / 09/22/2016 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Work
by Battlebarney / 09/22/2016 at 6:58am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
RichardPencil's comment : She puts that shit on everything!
by swee t / 09/21/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money
StormfrontX33's comment : That attorney needs to be on the end of another attorney. Sue his ass and get that money back.
by nekal / 09/21/2016 at 12:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML
by ANON / 09/21/2016 at 10:09am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
LyricaSilvan's comment : Another patient got jealous of you visiting your aunt, and the staff blame you for the chaos she created as a result...How exactly does this equate to you being at fault, again? Assuming that this other patient was merely your aunt's hospital roomie and not someone you actually knew, it cannot rightfully be blamed on you that she flipped out. It isn't your fault that her own family didn't happen to visit the same day you came to see your aunt. The hospital staff need to pull the sticks out of their asses.
Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML
Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML
by grossed out / 09/21/2016 at 5:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by JordLostItagain3 / 09/21/2016 at 3:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Money
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
by Alyssa / 09/21/2016 at 3:17am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a…