By toolateabuckshort - / Friday 2 June 2017 12:11 /
By Anonymous - / Thursday 1 June 2017 18:00 / Australia
By dysfunctional_ravenclaw - / Thursday 1 June 2017 15:00 / United States - Houston

Today, my four-year-old son received a 20 Euro bill from his grandmother. Since he couldn't fit the bill into his piggy bank, he tore it up into a bunch of tiny pieces to make it fit. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 1 June 2017 21:00 / Italy
By Anonymous - / Thursday 1 June 2017 20:00 /
By Anonymous - / Thursday 1 June 2017 18:00 /

  Today, I was on my period and I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend. I told him upfront and he responded simply, “I work in a butcher shop, I’m used to having blood everywhere.” FML

By Volcan - / Thursday 1 June 2017 17:42 / France - Paris
Moosie11 Say more :
How great it was to read ( most ) of the responses. Because of the situation I can't tell anyone but really needed some feedback. Glad I remembered this site, I was going nuts.
By Moosie - / Thursday 1 June 2017 13:53 /
themysteriousfox Say more :
OP here.. What happened was it was a family party and my boyfriend got so insanely drunk me, him, and his sister decided to walk home. His sister decided to wander off in the opposite direction and he kept walking towards his house prompting me to stop in the middle and shout at him to wait so I could get his younger sister. Then he got mad and told me to go away and locked me out. He couldn't even...
By themysteriousfox - / Thursday 1 June 2017 12:35 / United Kingdom - Sheffield
azouwa Say more :
There's nothing wrong with going to a senior graduation to figure out who just turned 18!! lol, Nah. seriously, a few girls and I were working on an assignment, and them, being 20, only wanted to discuss fornication. So I told a few stories, and when jaws dropped, I went back to work on the paper we're writing. (I'm female btw).
By azouwa - / Thursday 1 June 2017 13:31 /
KillerChipmunk Say more :
Hey OP here! I really really hate elevators, but we were on the 9th floor of our hotel, so that's a lot of stairs to do in cosplay (I was at a con). The elevator wasn't too bad actually but this happening set me back a bit. I reported it to the front desk as soon as I had calmed down, and security walked me back up. In the morning, they came back to take my full statement so they could file a proper...
By KillerChipmunk - / Thursday 1 June 2017 12:08 /
By AnnoyedandAutistic - / Thursday 1 June 2017 02:00 /

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend of three months. I only wish I had known that his father had died just a few hours earlier that morning. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 31 May 2017 21:00 / Ecuador
By furbys69 - / Wednesday 31 May 2017 09:00 / United States - Kingsport
By funkyhed84 - / Wednesday 31 May 2017 11:00 / United Kingdom - York
pinkpanther61789 Say more :
Damn, I didn't expect this to get posted at all. For starters, I am half Jewish and look like a version of Anne Frank with frizzier hair and a broken nose. As for the whole situation, with a liquidation sale, there are absolutely no returns or exchanges of any kind at the location I work at. The "customers" I was serving were a foul mouthed, belligerent couple who are the kinds of people that make...
By Karma_will_bite - / Wednesday 31 May 2017 11:19 /
LikeLegitness Say more :
Hey guys this is the OP here. I just wanted to give a little more background and clear some stuff up. So I didn't have the job for very long but it was something that I've been wanting to do for a long time which is working with animals. During my short period of time there I barely talked to my co-workers because there was just too much work to do and not enough time to do it. But when I did have...
By Why? - / Wednesday 31 May 2017 10:49 /
Tarlachia Say more :
Yay! My second published FML! Anyway, I'm not entirely sure if the woman was running on all cylinders. Nevertheless, it's worthy of a good laugh, enough to the point of straining my sides from laughing so hard. It made my day. Love the puns, y'all. Don't let 'em fall through the holes of life!
By Tarlachia - / Wednesday 31 May 2017 10:15 /
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