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Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

#21347835
76 comments

A07's comment : Have you honestly been waiting for your hairdresser to return?

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Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML

#21347776
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (3232)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Darth Binks (man) - Canada

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

#21347765
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (2413)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Exodiafinder687's comment : Why did you have to rush to the hospital? Your wife could have just sucked the spider venom out.

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Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (3279)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

organizse's comment : "SAY MY NAME" "SAY. MY. NAME." "Mood killer."

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Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

#21347694
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (3673)

On 02/01/2015 at 9:59am - love - by FuckfaceSteve (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my boss explained that the company will be letting me go. She got so upset that she couldn't leave her office and I had to console her. I had to make her feel less sad for laying me off. FML

#21347642
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (2217)

On 02/01/2015 at 5:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got back from a two-day trip for which I'd left my husband and kids at home. There's fresh vomit inside of my oven, and my 4 year old son has a mullet. FML

#21347579
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (3684)

On 02/01/2015 at 12:50am - misc - by neverleavingagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

#21347496
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (2142)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm - health - by Lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (6540)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at an interview for one of the top universities in the U.S. Everything was going great until I choked on my own saliva and almost threw up on the interviewer. FML

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML

Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

#21347237
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (10074)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:13am - kids - by cooploops - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

#21347235
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29254) - you deserved it (2389)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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