All the FMLs

Goddamn Zoom

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 00:00

Today, during a Zoom meeting, I thought my mic was muted. I sighed loudly and muttered, “I have no idea what this guy’s talking about.” The “guy” immediately stopped talking and said, “If you’re confused, I can repeat stuff.” Everyone stared in silence while I melted into my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 580

CREEPY!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 22:00

Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 81

Spatial awareness

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 20:00

Today, I walked up to what appeared to be an automatic door. I stood for a second, waved my arms, but nothing happened. Then a guy came from behind me, pushed a clearly visible button under a clearly visible sign that read "Push to open." He said, “It’s OK, happens to everyone.” It doesn’t feel like it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 303

Lingering

By Evjoel - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Bermuda - Hamilton

Today, whilst making a cake for my kids, I accidentally got some cocoa powder in my nose. Now it feels like my nose is burning stronger than the fires of hell. On the bright side, everything smells like chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 171

Covert

By Tabby Kat - 21/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to take a subtle picture of a cute guy reading at a café. My phone flash went off. He looked up, made direct eye contact, and said, “You could’ve just asked.” I packed up my stuff and left immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 680

Panic!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 12:00

Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 358

So brave

By Erbtosis - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my five year-old had to break the news to me that my husband was leaving me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 714

You deserved it 1 448

Awks

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 03:00

Today, I told a woman at the gym that I “loved her confidence” because she was wearing the same bright leggings I’d been too nervous to wear. She smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks, they were my sister’s. She passed away last year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 111

Square one

By Jessica - 21/10/2025 00:00

Today, after spending last year putting in hard work, which paid off and I got my dream job, due to my own mismanagement of stress my dream job is gone and life is back at square one. Now everyone's predictions of me being a waste of space are true and I have to reinvent my life. Starting over at 38 after already starting over at 36. I can't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 149

Nice, awful, try

By Get a job you bum! - 20/10/2025 22:00

Today, my desperate cousin "visited" my house demanding that I pay him back his mom's flatbed scanner I broke, in the tune of $3000, which should cover for "interest." Yes, I remember: Our aunt bought it for $29.95 on Black Friday. My sister is the one who broke it, and then blamed it on me. All of this happened back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 53

Oh…

By wingless_angel_7 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 135

You deserved it 8 580

Here you go

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband served me divorce papers and an order to grant him temporary custody of our kids. Tomorrow is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 135

Obsession

By Perfectionist - 20/10/2025 12:00

Today, it's been a week since I was supposed to be moved. I've had to work over because of network, data issues, and now a computation that's slightly off. The computation is optional, and there's no one at the federal office to even accept the report, but my stupid brain won't let me stop until it's fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 244

Thanks, bro

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 09:00

Today, at my wedding, my golden child brother gave a speech that was a load of lying shite. He was telling tales of arrests, drug use, sexual antics, the lot. My wife knows it’s not true but her family think I’m scum, and my mother just told me she’s “not angry, just disappointed in me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 59

Never enough

By crazycatlady - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 609

You deserved it 18 617

Cousin Ricky

By How about "no"? - 20/10/2025 03:00

Today, my mom cussed at me because I denied my struggling cousin a job at my company, and now it's my fault he and his family will suffer and starve. He was fired from his former job as a payroll officer, and is now blacklisted. Over 30 people got zero on payday, as he later went Living La Vida Loca with his "bonus". FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 57

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 00:00

Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 102

The Times They Are A-Changin'

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 22:00

Today, after my dad always telling me that if I went to college then one day I could have a big house, a nice car, a hot wife, and two great kids, the joke's on you Dad. I have a Master's degree and can't afford rent, can’t afford driving lessons, and am single. Also, I've not eaten in two days, because I can’t afford food FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 119

Welcome to adulthood

By Jane - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 308

You deserved it 6 281

BBFs

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 15:00

Today, I was hanging with my lesbian friend, who I am secretly in love with. I bought her flowers, took her out to eat, and we held hands all through dinner. We met up with our friends later and she told them what we did, then said, "Isn't she the best friend ever? I'm so glad I have an honorary sister like her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 371

Name the artist!

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a concert, I tried to film my favorite song for Instagram. I sang along dramatically, screamed the chorus, and danced like no one was watching. When I rewatched the video later, I realized I had my phone camera flipped, recording my sweaty, overexcited face the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 557

Sibling rivalry

By Mayo baby - 19/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 142

It's coming!

By badmom - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 474

You deserved it 4 914

Speedo Gonzalez

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 03:00

Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 161

Broke boy

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 00:00

Today, the cashier asked if I wanted to donate $1 to help hungry children. I said, “Not today, thank you.” The man behind me loudly said, “Wow…” Now everyone thinks I hate children. I'm just that broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 78

Chancer

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 22:00

Today, on day one of opening my first restaurant, a customer complained his chicken fried steak contained only steak and no chicken. I thought he was taking the piss but no, he was just that dumb, and he refused to leave until he got a refund despite having eaten it all. I had to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 71

The trifecta

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 20:00

Today, trying to battle this addictive social media act, I currently have only one profile with my name or face. In my phone the apps I have are FML, Grindr, and Pokémon Go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 288

Gal pals

By AnnieThrax - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Holdingford

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 677

You deserved it 2 127

What does she have that I don't?

By cellie - 18/10/2025 15:00

Today, my ex is doing with his new girl all the things I begged him to do during our relationship. She gets Just Because flowers (he only got me flowers once and complained how expensive they were), trips (he told me he hated traveling), and apparently an engagement ring (he said he didn’t believe in marriage). FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 160

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 12:00

Today, after years of no contact, my brother texted me for my birthday. I replied, "You and your son are doing great I hope!" I then came to find out that he hasn't seen his son in 500 days and his ex refuses to let him see his son, since she has full custody and he is back on drugs. I didn't know and was genuinely hoping for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 82

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 31 378

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to brake, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 437

You deserved it 4 710

Today, I told my unemployed boyfriend to pick a town anywhere in the country that he thinks he can find work in. I offered to find myself a job there, find a flat, and pay for rent, bills, and food while he looks. He said I was selfish for wanting him to hurry up. It's been three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 540

You deserved it 1 376

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 202

You deserved it 8 000

Today, in a misguided attempt to earn my asshole dad's approval I went to university to get my business degree and took over the family restaurant. Now I have all the stress of managing the restaurant, he has retired and is moving abroad. Oh, and he still isn’t proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 307

Today, my country went on strike and is overthrowing the government, and I'm stuck on a night shift at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 152