Today, I smelled a terrible odor in my house. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. At first, I thought it might be rotten food or a dead animal, then I realized it was my own breath. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 21 April 2017 13:41 / Italy
FML - The follow-up
cydia123 Say more :
Hey guys OP here and FINALLY got an fml published! Phoned them again yesterday at a more appropriate time and they just told me due to high emergency volume to phone tomorrow (as in today). If they don't cancel it today, I will go ape shit as they're still billing me :) thanks everyone!
By cydia123 - / Wednesday 19 April 2017 16:38 / United Kingdom - Chesterfield
By Just Awkward - / Wednesday 19 April 2017 12:01 /

  Today, I can confirm that at 85 and 87 years old, it is indeed possible to have a sex life. Grandpa, grandma, thank you for having dispelled my doubt. FML

By ... - / Thursday 20 April 2017 15:17 / France
FML - The follow-up
Thegatewayslug Say more :
I know right! She texted me after the movie to tell me she left because of the coughing but that's it. I definitely wasn't handsy at all because I met up with her just to hang out, like it wasn't a date at all, and it couldve been real coughing but it was super sudden and out of the blue so idk...
By Thegatewayslug - / Monday 27 March 2017 04:29 /

Today, my girlfriend set things up for a romantic evening. It all seemed fine but as things were about to start heating up, she says out of nowhere, "Yeah it's not really working. Sorry." And went to sleep. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 18 April 2017 01:09 / United States - El Paso
By whywasitthere - / Monday 17 April 2017 21:13 / United States - New Braunfels
By sad_unicorn - / Saturday 15 April 2017 15:22 / Australia - Yagoona
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