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Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

#21452873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (5724)

On 08/06/2015 at 7:14pm - love - by Stinky and Single - United States

chaseafterwind82's comment : 'Love is in the air'- wait, no, that isn't love... :-(

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Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

#21452790
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (5786)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

jayemerald17's comment : Well I guess you're not going to be invited to the baby shower. But on the bright side there's no way you could've known, and now you don't have to live a lie!

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Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

#21452786
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (2644)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by ugly duckling - United States (Virginia)

carl_carl_'s comment : That's so rude of her. I can tell your mother sure has an ugly personality just from that comment

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Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

#21452734
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (2687)

On 08/06/2015 at 1:28pm - kids - by gross - United States

Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is just long enough, to get caught in the ceiling fan if I flip it over to dry it. FML

#21452688
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (2545)

On 08/06/2015 at 11:18am - misc - by Lilo4life - United States (California)

Today, I had to take a drugs test at work. Later, I found out it was my fiancé's mother who called our hotline. Her reason: I work till 6 pm, her "baby" should eat before that, but he can't cook, so I should quit my job. He is 35. And he thinks I should apologize for upsetting her at dinner. FML

#21452641
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (2474)

On 08/06/2015 at 7:16am - work - by Dobche (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML

#21452638
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24840) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/06/2015 at 6:50am - money - by Full Stomach Empty Wallet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

#21452616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22016) - you deserved it (1690)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - health - by ithinkimturningjapanese - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

#21452615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26828) - you deserved it (1656)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - work - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I spotted an elderly man trying to use the ladder at work. Knowing customers aren't supposed to use these, I went over and helped. Not only did I fall from the ladder, but I landed on the old man's foot, breaking my elbow and fracturing his toe. FML

#21452513
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20559) - you deserved it (2839)

On 08/06/2015 at 12:10am - work - by ilovebigmacs - United States (California)

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

Today, it was still easier for me to get an engineering PhD than it is to get a girlfriend. FML

#21452435
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/05/2015 at 9:22pm - love - by still single (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, an older lady approached me at work and stroked my hair, telling me it was 'beautiful'. This isn't unusual, I'm a natural redhead and octogenarians especially seem to love the colour. However, the unusual part was the glob of snot she left in my hair from her unwashed hands. FML

#21452391
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (1466)

On 08/05/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by gingerwhinger - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



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