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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36234) - you deserved it (2395)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

WavRace's comment : Toss their asses back in the closet and lock it.

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Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34028) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

MenacingMe's comment : Lol. Rick is a dick who's mind doesn't click, his humor is sick, he's anything but slick. It's a good thing you dumped that sick dick, Rick.

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Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (2352)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30474) - you deserved it (2135)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (3072)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

iTzSelverZz's comment : Shrek is love ... Shrek is life

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Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25741) - you deserved it (2516)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18174) - you deserved it (54573)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33792) - you deserved it (2802)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (4506)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35496) - you deserved it (2263)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (3871)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (4921)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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