Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Tripartita's comment : Today, my older sibling, who sometimes has difficulties accepting how much of a boss I am, convinced themself I that mistook the word "intercourse" for "encounter" while talking about my latest sexual exploit. They're now misrepresenting months of planning and seduction to the FML community. FML
by Redhottt6 / 08/04/2016 at 9:24pm / Miscellaneous
EsotericAura's comment : So is he dating your daughter; is she a stripper there; or did he just happen to run into her there?
Today, I parked in my "employee of the month" parking spot by the front of the store and started my shift. About halfway through my shift, a customer backed into my vehicle, got out and checked, then drove off before I could come outside. Perks of being the best employee I can be. FML
Today, after months of eating lunch with my best friend, going to Barnes and Noble, and having to poop while I was there, I realized I've trained myself to have to poop every single time I step into a Barnes and Noble. FML
by nes0385 / 08/27/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
saidoh's comment : Well on the bright side, now you know what to do next time you're constipated.
by MissMoonpie / 08/27/2016 at 8:21am / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Love
by JTinNJ / 08/27/2016 at 7:57am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Enni / 08/27/2016 at 4:47am / Intimacy
by outofluckatcollege / 08/27/2016 at 3:33am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
by young and dumb / 08/27/2016 at 2:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by horriblelife3006 / 08/27/2016 at 2:08am / Miscellaneous