Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML
Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML
Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
D J's MOM 17
I already knew that cats are awesome. yours is amazing. he's getting lots of extra treats right?
IHaveThePower 18
You have a very smart, good kitteh there. Give him lots of pettings and treats for us.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
D J's MOM 17
I already knew that cats are awesome. yours is amazing. he's getting lots of extra treats right?
IHaveThePower 18
You have a very smart, good kitteh there. Give him lots of pettings and treats for us.
jcarter25 12
Well, your life sucks but at least you still have it! Good job kitty!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That cat deserves a medal - and all the treats he wants! Good job, kitty!