All the FMLs

BYOKA

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I’m so embarrassed I can barely believe it: I was out on a date and he asked the waitress to bring a pitcher of water and extra sugar packets. He took two Kool-Aid packets from his pocket and mixed it up right there at the table, proudly stating he didn’t need to pay for drinks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 96

No such thing as a free event

By NoAttentiontoDetails - 06/06/2026 00:00 - Germany

Today, I'd registered for a free work event, but I forgot about it and registered for a free social event on the same day. I thought I would skip the work event, but I need to pay 500 € to skip it! Why can't I remember dates?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 417

Schadenfreude

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 22:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I missed a single letter when reading the Bible at church. Instead of "Hope was rich with immortality", I said "Hope was rich with immorality." Nobody at the funeral noticed, except an anonymous FML user who tried not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 113

Imposter syndrome

By Useless - 05/06/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I worked hard and brought few points to an important meeting at work. All of them were dismissed almost immediately. Now I feel an impostor fraud who gets paid for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 80

Gross

By clips - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 271

You deserved it 2 637

Horny camp

By Cathie - 05/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I went camping with friends, two guys and one girl. Night came and things got freaky. Two of them began to make out. I wanted to make a move on my guy friend but he said, “Nah, let’s not ruin the friendship.” Then he proceeded to have a threesome with them. Oh, and the other guy didn’t want me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 121

Pants down

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 12:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 115

Weirdest gang ever

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was stopped from jogging by a group of joggers who said they’re a paid membership group from a HOA so I can’t run near them unless I’m also a member. When I rightfully told them to tongue kiss my asshole, they joined hands across the street and the road to stop me from running past them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 65

Should I stay or should I go?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Bangladesh

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 519

You deserved it 21 656

Dazed and confused

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, no one warned me that my grandfather was slipping into dementia. I proudly brought my new baby to meet him, only for him to burst into hysterical tears that I was a teenage whore, who’s now brought shame to the family. I'm 30 and married, but he still tried to hit me with his cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 52

Here comes the bride…

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I may have made a mistake in getting married, because he kept telling people to "Stop fucking crying, it's not a funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 120

I'll see you in court

By Goodbyefreeflights - 04/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got fired from my flight attendant job because I commented to a colleague how a passenger has the audacity to fly economy while sporting a huge Louis Vuitton duffle bag, and that it must be a replica bag. Apparently she was within earshot and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 982

So disappointed

By Anonymous - 04/06/2026 20:00 - United States

Today I've come to the realization that I prefer my stepson over my biological son. My stepson is an amazing kid while my biological is in prison for drugs. My ex-wife completely spoiled him rotten and everything despite all my efforts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 88

Torture

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 767

You deserved it 1 783

Let me down gently

By ShotDown - 04/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 778

I wanna go home

By "Anonymous survey" my ass - 04/06/2026 12:00 - Brazil - Itajaí

Today, I got written up at work. Apparently, "Going fully remote" is not an answer to "How can we be more sustainable at work and help save the planet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 76

Safe in the closet

By Anonymous - 04/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I realized I'd spent 14 months giving my love to a closeted lesbian, who used me like an emotional vampire to hide. She cried about her ex leaving her for a man, then did the same to me. She's a parasite jumping from host to host because she's too cowardly to be honest. I’m just her latest supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 79

Abandoned

By Sickinbed - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I saw that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 449

You deserved it 3 727

Good grief

By Saddie - 04/06/2026 03:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, the man I loved broke up with me, because he felt like his feelings for me were not enough for a serious relationship. As much as I'm thankful that he didn't drag me along, this hurts like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 86

Doggy bag psycho

By Monalisa - 04/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I were having an argument over accidentally leaving a to-go container of leftovers at a restaurant. He asked me why I didn’t remind him and I said that I forgot. He asked me, “What if you forgot to breathe one day? You’d die.” Then he kicked me out of the car and told me to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 95

Tipping culture wars

By Anonymous - 03/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, during a first date, we discovered we had complete opposite views on tipping. Neither of us wanted to back down, so we spent an hour debating economics instead of getting to know each other. At the end, the server thanked us for the entertainment and asked if we'd be coming back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 400

Call the cops

By sacrophage - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 204

You deserved it 2 955

Homeowners war

By xXCharlieXx - 03/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my neighborhood Facebook group was arguing about whether leaf blowers should be banned. Thinking I was posting in a private chat, I wrote, “Imagine making leaf blowers your entire personality.” I accidentally posted it publicly. Two neighbors haven't spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 377

Computer says no

By Anonymous - 03/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I told everyone at work I could fix the office printer because “I work with computers.” After pressing random buttons for ten minutes, I somehow changed the language to Korean and printed 87 blank pages. The IT guy arrived, looked at me, sighed, and fixed it in 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 663

QUIET!

By Noisy - 03/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to quietly open a bag of chips during a movie. The bag made so much noise that people turned around to stare. When I finally got it open, I dropped the entire bag on the floor and chips scattered down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 514

Thank you for being a friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, it's my 21st birthday. The only person who drank with me was my elementary school principal, who I happened to run into at a bar where we were the only two people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 256

Get cracking

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I arrived early in the morning at my job counting inventory, only to find that the scanner machines were still getting set up due to difficulties with WiFi. We ended up starting two hours late due to various technical issues, and I almost missed my sister's recital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 49

Bio mom situation is insane

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Perris

Today, my foster son’s adoption is once again being delayed thanks to his crackhead birth mom. Every time she gets a notice that we’re moving forward, she has some rando come forward pretending to be the bio dad, then we have to go through months of court and DNA tests. She’s done this 12 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 42

Traitor

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my best friend invited my ex to eat lunch with her. I wouldn't have found out had I not bumped into them while they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 347

You deserved it 1 407

Unhinged

By Marcus - 02/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, the girl who said we were “just friends” had a meltdown when I told her I went on a date with a girl I met on Hinge. She literally told me two months ago after me giving her the shirt off my back and being her emotional support anchor for nearly four years that we were “just friends.” So what’s the deal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 54

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 445

You deserved it 9 074

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 024

You deserved it 45 690

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 799

You deserved it 6 718

Today, I was cleaning my car when I hit the automatic window button while I was vacuuming in between the door and the driver's seat, and got stuck halfway out, in full view of my neighbor. He had to come get me out, because I couldn't reach the button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 241

Today, I ordered sushi for dinner. When it arrived, I realized the delivery driver had given me the wrong order, a family-sized vegan lasagna. I don’t even like regular lasagna, let alone vegan lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 98

Today, I tried to be efficient by balancing my coffee, phone, and laptop on the subway. One wrong move later, I had coffee all over my laptop, my shoes, and a very unimpressed stranger’s coat. They gave me a look that said, “Why do you even exist?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 599