Work: Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed...

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 343

You deserved it 2 690

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 976

You deserved it 25 500

By RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 248

You deserved it 11 485

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 048

You deserved it 3 547

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 450

You deserved it 6 067

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 639

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 322

It wasn't me

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 189

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 609

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 79

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 031

You deserved it 2 129

EastCoastLez 14

Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

To be fair, bathrooms tend to echo like the depths of hell.

homesuckfucker 28

Friday 1 April 2016 14:49

It's not your fault she's uptight. After all, that's what bathrooms are for!

Comments

nemouisu 22

Friday 1 April 2016 14:48

That's one way to make a name for yourself

thestoryofacaleb 14

Friday 1 April 2016 14:49

That's an extremely uncomfortable situation. Sorry OP.

homesuckfucker 28

Friday 1 April 2016 14:49

It's not your fault she's uptight. After all, that's what bathrooms are for!

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Friday 1 April 2016 18:35

I agree. That's why you were in the damned bathroom. At least you didn't do it in her office.

blazerman_fml 17

Friday 1 April 2016 14:50

Could be worse...you could have been spewing unstoppable volcanic diarrhea :3

EastCoastLez 14

Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

To be fair, bathrooms tend to echo like the depths of hell.

PackardBell_fml 19

Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

Hold one in when you walk by his stall when you're done, and let it rip.

Giraafe 15

Friday 1 April 2016 14:56

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Magnoxidans 19

Friday 1 April 2016 14:56

Isn't a bathroom designed for dealing with biological functions? Tough reputation to shake though sorry OP

barfingcat21 18

Friday 1 April 2016 14:58

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

A07 48

Friday 1 April 2016 15:01

Hello and welcome to FML. Thankyou for the amazingly original comment and please enjoy your stay.

may14th 26

Friday 1 April 2016 15:19

Why? WHYYYYYYY?

zman8881 8

Friday 1 April 2016 17:40

Thanks for the originality!

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 1 April 2016 22:21

That's a pooty situation.

Steve97 32

Friday 1 April 2016 15:00

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

DoomedGemini 37

Friday 1 April 2016 17:10

Yes, halt doing anything in the bathroom if someone important comes in. It's not like the bathroom is for such things or anything.

Keywords

Students Relatable Work Mental health Kids Parenting Awkward Love Embarrassing Family Wanker Intimacy First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming Cars Transportation Cops Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 853

You deserved it 7 894

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 373

You deserved it 1 987

The Top

Today, and as always, I recycle my trash at work: paper in the yellow trashcan, the rest in the black one. This morning, I saw a cleaning lady empty the contents of the black trashcan into the yellow one, put the whole lot into a big plastic bag and then leave as if this was normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 137

You deserved it 2 208

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 166

You deserved it 5 987

Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 098

You deserved it 7 680

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 063

You deserved it 3 778

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 086

You deserved it 8 743

Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 1 349

Same thing different taste

Pissed

It wasn't me

The sweet smell of success

Take a break

Top comments

Comments