Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML
Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML
Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML
Today, I was late for work so I ran to catch the bus. I made it. Unfortunately, the bus was actually out of service, and I just sprinted to a parked vehicle for no reason. FML
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step-dad asking him if he could drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I saw him drive by the bus stop, pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
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Top comments
Fossilcoronet 0
Try the cab company again?
sammyf89 13
Just call the cab company and query why the cab never came.
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Comments (86)
Fossilcoronet 0
Try the cab company again?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Why??? Hitch-hiking would be a much better idea.
evilscorpi 29
think its time to invest in a cheap car
GovernorGeneral 8
LOOLL. CALL THE POLICE!!! Tell them you saw a burgler and that youre so scared. Then theyll take you home :D Problem solved.
chocol8m 6
36- genius.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
12 people wouldn't detect humour / sarcasm if it crept up on them and face ****** them...
linkinpark98 24
Hell, might as well call up the local pizza joint an tell Bubba to get you a large with extra mushrooms.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
make that 13... SHIIIIT!
RrLSf19 0
Walk maybe? but sorry about ur day OP.. :/
McDonaldsworker 4
Work sweet work:)
McDonaldsworker 4
(Like home sweet home)
memob123 0
We get it :P
JurassicHole 5
6- Thanks for the clarification, I'll go back to banging rocks together now.
sammyf89 13
Just call the cab company and query why the cab never came.
BeefyQueef 5
The situation has passed days probably days before this fml was even published. It doesn't seem anyone realizes that, and all the suggestions they're giving out are irrelevant.
sammyf89 13
49, I highly doubt that anyone genuinely believes that these fml are happening live. The advice is basically a "what you should have done" sort of advice or even helping people who find themself in a similar situation in the future. At least there are some people on the Internet who are still willing to help and give advice instead of just trolling and abusing.
BeefyQueef 5
I really hope you're right.
DontForgetMe4 0
awe, are you that forgettable? either way...at least you have a job!
kittenvks 11
It's aww damnit. Awe is shocked, amazed, surprised. Sorry, but this has always annoyed me greatly.
Swiftly 0
56- *dammit
dav3800 7
That "at least you have a job" thing is getting annoying.
SecretMe00 5
Damn it***
hummingbird94 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You can't walk home? I mean, I know walking is some horrible, unmentionable thing, but it's worth a shot.
Carbonation 0
Or, just maybe, they live really far away and they don't want to walk for hours?
jmalaer 5
I don't think he'd be taking a cab if he worked an hour away, the cab bill would be your daily earnings.
JurassicHole 5
21- she'd* We don't know where she works, it's quite possible she works in a dodgy part of town and to walk home could potentially put her in danger of many horrible things. She's from DC and that's a big city for anyone to be walking a fair distance by themselves at night. Better safe than dead in a ditch or worse... Anyways, hope you've worked things out now OP.
VeganVampyre 27
21- There's a huge difference between walking and driving time. She could live 10-15 minutes away by car, which could potentially equal 2-3 hours of walking, or more. Obviously in that case you'd rather pay for a ten minute cab ride than walk for two hours in the middle of the night.
thesiwel 0
last bus might cost $10 and if forced a taxi $60, a taxi might cost half your earnings but at least you get home. The company might also subsidies taxis in that situation
rokmonkey18 0
The only reason she's taking a cab in the first place is because she missed the last bus and her father forgot to pick her up. So it would make sense to ride in a cab even if it is expensive.
sietseld 13
I work an hour away from where I live...when I take the bus, if I missed it I would have to take a cab. Yes, it would be expensive, but what other choice do I have? I'm certainly not going to walk 50+ miles on the highway carrying all my things.
tygerarmy 35
If I could do it in 3 or less hours I'd walk home. I'd be calling friends, loved ones and cab companies the whole time, but I'd do anything to get away from work.
TPSerigne 9
Good news is that you are already dressed and present for work tomorrow.
Carbonation 0
Office camping trips are awesome! Use a desk lamp and make some smores.
thesiwel 0
Cook the bumble bees from the window sills for a nourishing meal (10 points for anyone who gets the reference)
Blacksxe 1
Dang that sucks. I hope you work at a hotel or a resort.
saIty 17
Chance of being mugged while walking home- 62% Chance of being staying overnight under a desk- 88% Did you know that 76% of all statistics are made up on the spot?
saIty 17
What the flying pink unicorns? I meant for this to be a reply for 5. Major fail..
saIty 17
I also forgot to add safe for the second one. Fail Friday for me today.
RamenForTheWin 10
Oh well, it was funny anyway.
kittenvks 11
I read muggle instead of mugged. Still true though ;)
exitdecay 6
your back and neck are going to feel horrible the next day.