Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML
Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, I have a new office-mate. I'm not particularly sensitive to odours but he wears so much cologne, I nearly throw up every time he walks in. Only 8 more hours till fresh air. FML
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Top comments
aFatFuck 0
unspeakable things happen in there...
forkbrother13 0
air freshners. lots and lots of air freshners. i love you.
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Comments (107)
aFatFuck 0
unspeakable things happen in there...
nilin95 1
Bring fibreeze and some car smelly things tomorrow.
daAce77 8
Hey at least you have an office instead of a cubicle.
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
Battle *****!
yeseniaa14 0
At least you have a job :p
kiefenator 0
Little known fact, Women's washrooms are often worse than men's washroom mainly because the way most women were raised ( not being sexist) is to despise uncleanliness. Therefore they have more of a tendency to do their thing quickly and without care so they can leave earlier. :3
mahomie97 7
lemme guess.. your a guy?(:
FlurffyPupQueen 7
Let me just tell yuh, I know what "happens" inside of both bathrooms when Im around. ;)
davizv 0
What?!?! POO. Oh wait. I forgot girls don't crap
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Has anyone ever taken a sniff of a used tampon? It smells funny. Before anyone says, "How would you know?!" I have smelled one before.
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
^ why the **** would you smell a used tampon?!
jackgoldstein 5
better opposite than adjacent
Keyman1212 14
My first job involved cleaning toilets at an upscale grocery store. Let me just say, I've seen SHIT smeared onto the walls of the women's restrooms, I've seen ******* bloody-ass tampons on the ground, and I've seen the toilet paper used to wipe sitting next to the toilet, not in it. All three of these disgusting acts happened at least once weekly, at different intervals. As for the guys bathrooms, much better. Just speaking from experience here.
bankrupt 15
Right there with you, No. 84. I worked in a department store and the womens fitting rooms were pigstys. We also had to clean up used tampons and pads, and we had at least one turd left on the carpet each week, not to mention the women who squatted down and pissed on the carpet. It was a FITTING ROOM, not a rest room. It was horrible. I was informed by co-workers in the mens departments that they were always neat and clean and in the entire time I worked at that particular store there were no incidents of men toileting on the fitting room carpets. This is not to say that their shit doesn't stink, only that they at least have the decency to put it where they ought.
fightingkittens 39
84 actually made me LOL. So did the entire FML, actually. Sucks, OP. Invest in a gas mask? That's what I use when the shit smell emanating from the cat box is unusually vile and it's my turn to clean it.
hopelessxdesign 5
I once had to clean bathrooms, men's are definitely worse.
forkbrother13 0
air freshners. lots and lots of air freshners. i love you.
iloveeyouuxD 9
Febreeze!! :D
forkbrother13 0
I LIKE GLAD WATERMELON SCENT
iloveeyouuxD 9
That works too!
ChucktheNorris 0
I like watermelon too!:D and I love you to. (no ****. I'm a girl)
Thabb 0
I love you too! *brohug*
sxe_beast 11
Renuzits!!!!! Get like 100 of them... Win.
cmac86 24
Dude, your pic is one of the most frightening things I've ever seen! it is AWESOME!
ChucktheNorris 0
You need Febreez.
kocoman500 2
You mean febreeze...??? The best smelling thing on this earth and you spell it wrong... SHAME, MAN, SHAME!!!
dreamering 16
He's Chuck Norris. He can spell in anyway he likes it. Actually, he invented the spelling.
ChucktheNorris 0
Yes yes I did. And technically in real life I'm ... *whispers* a girl!
TheRealHouse 7
to the tune of weezers sweater song: oh no, you ho, be gone, bye bye, I can't, breathe and, you need, febreeze... if you want me to lick your cooter ho you stink, you havnt washed in days it gets me rattled just to see you naked your a smelly *****, go wash your ****
ChucktheNorris 0
That. Is. Disgusting. O_o
knight0748 5
umm... close your door??
primadonna9396 16
This... It might not be proper office etiquette, but if the boss asks, just tell him it's necessary to avoid puking from the stench.
atthegates 0
Smell it, smell it.....now take it
PrickHead 0
cut a glory hole in the wall...
dyble95 0
Your name suites your comment.
PrickHead 0
atleast i know the difference between 'suites' and 'suits'
Silenthunter 0
Isn't that suite
musicbunny 1
69- HA! I GET IT!
2ndSucks 15
That's the power of pinesol, baby.
WCARlover 35
2nd sucks is a wonderful song
2ndSucks 15
Indeed. A day to remember, ftw. :)
BooGhosted 0
The whole album is good!
2ndSucks 15
Pretty much anything by adtr is great.
sexxme 9
If you are referring to the band adtr by any chance, I'd have to say you have amazing taste in music(:
JustinThunder 8
Sounds like over exaggeration.
SageAnonymous 6
Walk around with tamp's up your nose. You'll stick out at the new job and won't sniff the mens room stank.
vbmg152 19
Close your door!!!
omgcookeys 15
Load up on air fresheners :) you're gonna need quite a bit of febreeze to cover up the man smell that will forever lurk behind your door.