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The all-time greatest FMLs

One time thing

By Sofia - 04/02/2026 12:00

Today, I found out I’m pregnant. My fiancé was beaming with joy. However, I’m not sure if he’s the father because I recently had hate sex/quickie with my ex-boyfriend, who is also my coworker. I wish the Earth would swallow me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 1 356

Signed, sealed, delivered

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 09:00

Today, I received a package and confidently told the delivery guy I didn’t need to sign because it was “hands-free these days.” He stared at me, pointed at the giant screen that clearly required a signature, and said, “Not for this one.” I scribbled in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 582

New receipe just dropped

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, feeling ravenous and hungover, I sneakily ate my roommate’s leftover pizza. Halfway through, I realized it wasn’t pizza, it was a frozen waffle with ketchup and cheese they’d left in the box as a trap. I fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 103

No uncertain terms

By Andreww - 30/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got broken up with yet again by my on-and-off ex-girlfriend. I had ended things with an amazing girl I was seeing just to go back to my ex. She'd made it clear that if things went wrong with my ex, I wasn't allowed to pursue her again. I tried to hit her up again anyway, but she told me to “take a short walk off a pier.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 500

Golden rule

By Gilgamuch - 05/12/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 914

A cute one for a change

By We have fun at least - 18/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 498

Genius

By LOL Tolhurst - 03/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was on the phone with tech support for over an hour, getting increasingly frustrated. After finally fixing the issue, I sarcastically said, "Thanks for nothing, genius," thinking I'd hung up the call. Turns out, I hadn’t. The tech guy coolly replied, "You’re welcome, genius." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 764

CTE maxxing

By brokeskull - 20/03/2026 09:00

Today, we were heckling a friend who showed up to skate wearing a helmet, laughing at him for not being confident in his skating. I go to stunt so I can mog him, slip, and wake up in the hospital with stitches and a killer headache. Mogged by a helmet wearer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 080

Quite rightly so

By Doomed to be fat - 14/03/2026 09:00

Today, after my ex helped me drop over a hundred pounds, I broke up with him because I looked and felt so much better, and knew I could do better. Turns out he was the only thing keeping me slim, as I've put back on over twenty pounds. I asked him to take me back and he told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 496

Busted

By Busted - 16/01/2026 15:00

Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 428

Stormy weather

By Bribri - 06/09/2024 20:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I got mad at my boyfriend and gave him the silent treatment. He still hasn’t noticed. It’s been four hours, and he just asked if I wanted to order pizza, assuming I was "thinking really hard about something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 936

Computer says no

By Anonymous - 03/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I told everyone at work I could fix the office printer because “I work with computers.” After pressing random buttons for ten minutes, I somehow changed the language to Korean and printed 87 blank pages. The IT guy arrived, looked at me, sighed, and fixed it in 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 656

Weird flex but OK

By Chad - 10/06/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I confidently told my friends I had a high spice tolerance and took a shot of insanely hot ghost pepper sauce. I immediately hiccuped, tears started streaming down my cheeks, and I coughed so hard I fell off my chair and knocked stuff off of the table. We were in a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 804

2 fast, 2 braincells

By Negative aura - 21/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was in a parking lot, doing donuts in my dad's car to rizz some baddies. It was going great until some dumbass got in the way and got launched twenty feet. I panicked, lost control of the car, and smashed into a decorative tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 072

Guitar hero

By Jammy Handtricks - 18/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 841

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got reprimanded at work for calling off when I wasn’t sick. Apparently someone at the store saw me making online videos. What a great day to try starting my influencer brand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 086

Move!

By Kevin - 29/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 666

Are you doing OK?

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 20:00

Today, my son is only two but I'm already plagued by the idea of him one day having a wife or girlfriend. I'm being kept awake at night by the betrayal of something that hasn't even happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 868

Welcome to the pleasuredome

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Lake Jackson

Today, while working from home, I missed an important Zoom meeting with the director of my department because I was too busy watching adult videos and pleasuring myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 671

Busted!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 215

Mommy issues

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I brought a girl back to my place. She commented on how neat and clean everything was for a bachelor. I absentmindedly said, “Yeah, my mom comes over and cleans three times a week.” She made a face like I'd just told her I eat puppies or something, then made an excuse to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 011

What goes around…

By Ironyman - 25/05/2026 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took the piss out of my younger brother for spending money on “fake internet clothes” in video games. Last week I spent 3 hours researching the perfect ergonomic office chair and paid extra for “limited edition fabric.” I'm apparently one financial decision away from becoming the exact nerd I used to bully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 471

Tension

By Sad wife - 03/11/2025 20:00

Today, I tried a trick my friend taught me; I initiated sex as my husband was getting ready for work, then guilted him when he refused. After he left, I texted my friend that her trick worked wonderfully. Too bad I sent it to my husband instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 840

Classic

By Mortified - 09/11/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to secretly take a photo of a cute guy on the train. I forgot my flash was on. He looked straight at me, smirked, and said, “If you wanted my picture, you could’ve just asked.” I got off three stops early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 559

Love you!

By bad son - 13/01/2026 22:00

Today, I texted my mom, “Love you!” and immediately followed it with, “Oops wrong chat” except it wasn't the wrong chat. She replied, “???” and now she thinks I only say I love her by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 432

Not so sneaky

By Felicity - 11/09/2024 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of a cute guy sitting across from me on a train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just smirked at me, clearly aware of what had just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 726

Pucker up

By It feels fucking awful - 18/12/2025 12:00

Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 660

Truth serum

By Jodi - 06/02/2026 22:00

Today, my husband was cold and distant towards me for the third day in a row, and I finally demanded an answer. He showed me a video of me drunkenly confessing to him that I don't find him sexually exciting, and that my abusive ex was way better in the bedroom. Fuck, I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 657

Always check where you're posting

By Jimbob - 08/10/2025 20:00

Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 677

Slapstick

By That Dumbass Friend - 28/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I laughed at my friend for tripping on the sidewalk. While imitating him to show “how stupid" he looked, I stepped on the exact same sidewalk, twisted my ankle, and fell over in front of a bunch of strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 864

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 013

You deserved it 4 460

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 264

You deserved it 6 084

Today, I took my first day off in 3 weeks just so I can sleep in. The office secretary woke me up at 7.12 am with a page wishing me a nice day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 601

You deserved it 3 984

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 249

You deserved it 7 233

Today, despite being utterly depressed, I thawed 7 kilos of raw meat, in order to put it through the meat grinder. Not only did my mom forget to clean certain parts of the meat grinder after last using it, she also seems to have lost another part, without which the machine doesn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 138

Today, imagine you’re trying to be conscious about your spending habits, but you’re sad and so you decide to buy food, even though you have food at the house, then you eat it, enjoy it… then throw it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 352