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By  askullnamedbilly  |  33

Well I hope you didn't plan on having a good night's sleep tonight because you'll be up every two hours to let the whining bastard outside so he can have runny diarrhea all over your neighborhood. Any way you can lock up the kitchen while you're gone?

If not, we have a motion sensor that flashes light and beeps in a really high pitch so our dog doesn't raid the cupboards in our cellar. I get a heart attack every time I go downstairs and forget about the thing, but I haven't had to clean out flour mixed with dog spit out of the carpet in a while, so I'd say it was a good investment.

By  TabooSushi  |  24

Three words: Child safety lock.
Get one. Get two, if you must. I got locks to put on my lower cabinets because my cats kept getting into them and shredding boxes of dry goods, and my life has been so damned peaceful ever since. You can usually find them in any infant/toddler section in a department store (Walmart, Target, etc), and even at hardware stores, and they're fairly inexpensive.