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The all-time greatest FMLs

By samgonzalessb - 14/12/2009 17:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 65

New mommies

By Anonymous - 07/01/2023 21:00

Today, for the third time, my ex-husband sent another new girlfriend to pick up our kids. It’s crazy that the court sees nothing wrong with his parading a stream of women, which could be dangerous to our kids. The judge said that as long as he keeps up with visitation and child support, there’s nothing I can do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 984

White out

By pussy - 29/09/2023 16:00

Today, I was told to "stop being such a little pussy." Why? Because my body chose to pass out from the heat. I didn’t complain even once, but I drank plenty of water and still passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 130

Inked

By Rubach - 13/06/2021 02:01

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my dad will die without knowing I have tattoos on my body. I'm afraid my dad will suffer a deadly heart attack due to the revelation, as he had two heart failures in the past. My dad is still the sort of person who thinks that people with tattoos are criminals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 381

Hang in there

By Trinity - 11/05/2023 06:00

Today, I have been dealing with painful lymphedema and I'd finally got a doctor's appointment, but they called and cancelled last minute. Here's to another week being in pain… FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 84

Denied

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 308

Timing

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got an email back at 3 a.m. from a university I applied for, saying that I got in on a provisional basis. That provision was that I had to provide certain documents to prove my prior learning. The due date for the documents was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 94

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 209

We're doomed

By Anonymous - 22/05/2023 11:00 - Australia

Today, I witnessed someone giving medical advice that they got from ChatGPT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 120

No control over my limbs

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 188

I wanna get off!

By Anonymous - 08/06/2023 18:00

Today, I ride my bike 5.5 miles every day to get to and from work. My job is filled with a bunch of melodramatic 40-something year-old men that can't take a joke. I'm $10,000 in debt. I don't speak to my family or old friends, as they're no good and I'm trying to change my life trying but feel like I'm getting nowhere. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 269

Flummoxed

By Pastry boiii - 10/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, it’s been three hours since my girlfriend starting giving me the silent treatment. I went to the bakery to buy some pastries, so I asked her if she wanted any before I left. She said “No.” I came home with one pastry for myself and she threw a tantrum because she'd said “No” to see if I would get her one anyway. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 214

Terminally online

By Anonymous - 13/08/2022 10:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to see my dad sitting in his car. I thought it'd be fun to sneak up on him. He was filming himself on his phone, ranting about "fighting like hell" and "a storm coming." He had his baseball cap on backwards, probably because the front had the name of our town in Wales on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 162

Yeet it time

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 12:59 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I got fired for not being mature enough. I just found out I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 425

Repressed memories

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about my uncle who committed suicide when I was younger. When I tried to remember his name, my mind went completely blank. It was bugging me all day, until I remembered halfway through the movie we were watching. It took me a whole day to remember my deceased uncle's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 186

Money for whining

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 23:59 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 140

Just a prank, bro

By Lucas - 11/02/2022 06:00

Today, our boss gave me and my team a final warning, because of a prank that one of my workmates played on him. It isn't the first time shit happens. The boss won't let us dispute it, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 225

It's a beautiful life

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 202

I smell winter

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 17:02

Today, in my mom’s house, I can stay in one of two rooms: The one that's clean, tidy, quiet and has a comfortable seat… or the one that's warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 139

Casual sexism

By QueenofMean2U - 21/01/2023 07:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, we found out someone got fired, and someone who was supposed to get fired, did not. I wonder if the boss is sleeping with employees, because all the men always get fired, but a few of the women haven't, and one cannot account for $30,000 in missing parts. I'm too old to finesse the boss like the thots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 148

Yikes

By AAAAAAAAAAAAA - 11/07/2022 07:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 152

By cyrilworms - 26/04/2016 03:15 - China - Guangzhou

Today, I’m in China for work, and for the second time someone told me that I look like Vladimir Putin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 80

Low effort

By kya - 29/01/2021 03:31

Today, my mother, who works in retail, wears her mask around my dad and my siblings, but deliberately takes it off around me. I always knew she hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 116

Une rule for thee, none for me

By Anonymous - 13/06/2023 12:00

Today, I got fired for following my work directions. I found out when I tried to badge into work, and paid $40 for a ride home. There also was an argument with my supervisors because I actually follow the directions correctly and knew what they meant. I'm temp to hire so there's no recourse for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 131

Feeders

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 23:01

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 001

NOT THE MAN BUN!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my future son-in-law try and fail to parallel park 8 times before he gave up and started crying. That’s the 4th time he’s cried this weekend. I’m trying so hard to understand why my daughter loves him. He’s an unemployed little crybaby, with a man bun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 258

Yummy

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 23:01 - Germany - Dresden

Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 371

Intervention

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we all got together and showed Dad, with evidence from our ring doorbell and our phone recordings, that I’m the only one he shouts at, yet with everyone else he controls his temper perfectly. The end result? He sent everyone out so he could yell at me about violating his privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 140

The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 4 503

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 3 667

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The Top

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 147

You deserved it 2 162

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 884

You deserved it 2 456

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 348

You deserved it 4 142

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 456

You deserved it 8 970

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position, saying that I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 759

You deserved it 26 563

Today, I’m officially at the point where I can’t blame others for not wanting to play on the Playstation with me. I don’t even want to play with myself. I suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 291