By Louis The FML Showdown! Who's your fave this week! Check out these fine specimens. 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kenken5 Today, I had my first sexual experience since going through a rough break up a month ago. The guy finished after 60 seconds of a blow job and then didn’t return the favor. FML I agree, your life sucks 2173 You deserved it 336 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML I agree, your life sucks 46235 You deserved it 12146 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks sis - 3/7/2020 05:02 Role model Today, I went over to visit my sister. She had a bunch of pictures of me on her wall. I thought it was sweet, but a bit odd. Turns out she looks at pictures of me to motivate herself whenever she doesn’t feel like working out. FML I agree, your life sucks 1415 You deserved it 330 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, one of the customers at work shat all down the side of the toilet and on the floor. They didn’t even try to make it in the bowl. Guess who had to clean it up. FML I agree, your life sucks 2185 You deserved it 166 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By really? - United States Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 43430 You deserved it 24086 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dump truck hater - United States - Austin Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML I agree, your life sucks 27659 You deserved it 2201 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 08:03 - Germany - Ebersbach Preferential treatment Today, my mom’s house has several comfortable places to rest in every room. For the cats and dogs, that is. Unfortunately for me, I'm a human. FML I agree, your life sucks 594 You deserved it 92 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML I agree, your life sucks 40981 You deserved it 4556 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 50sStyle - United States - Hartland Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML I agree, your life sucks 5467 You deserved it 394 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated 2 years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML I agree, your life sucks 30534 You deserved it 2324 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mindlost - United States Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML I agree, your life sucks 8229 You deserved it 29371 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Samantha - United States Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML I agree, your life sucks 25156 You deserved it 42774 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lolmyfduplife Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 24604 You deserved it 2082 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yourfault - United Kingdom - Kingston Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML I agree, your life sucks 66676 You deserved it 6751 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/5/2020 08:29 Thanks for all the help Today, I found the Facebook album my sister took with her kids by the pool and out on boats while back in our hometown. My problem? I'm our dad's carer since his stroke and she had planned the trip as a mission to help me take care of him, but due to her kids being "sick", she only visited briefly. Twice. In 5 weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 1646 You deserved it 108 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HairyBoobs - United States Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML I agree, your life sucks 43296 You deserved it 6855 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alexxicks - 5/3/2020 12:02 So no one told you life was gonna be this way… Today, I was asked a security question by my bank's app when I tried using it after a year. After two to three wrong attempts, I got it correct with the answer, "Myself." The question was, "Who was your childhood friend?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1355 You deserved it 240 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/4/2020 14:00 Artistic licence Today, after spending at least 4 hours drawing a realistic shadow of a vampire for a picture contest, I finally remembered that vampires aren't supposed to produce shadows. FML I agree, your life sucks 1165 You deserved it 656 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wrongnumber - United States Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 24499 You deserved it 3190 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam - United States Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML I agree, your life sucks 10028 You deserved it 29440 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lizzard0416 - Canada - Edmonton Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML I agree, your life sucks 36842 You deserved it 9940 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ian Artis - United States Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML I agree, your life sucks 29768 You deserved it 2803 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Pomona Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML I agree, your life sucks 1492 You deserved it 152 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NNTA - Netherlands - Maastricht WTF, dude? Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML I agree, your life sucks 44196 You deserved it 4500 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By myself - Canada Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother-in-law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML I agree, your life sucks 39215 You deserved it 3929 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tey - United States Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 28823 You deserved it 17802 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By insanitycalling - Canada Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML I agree, your life sucks 26354 You deserved it 3460 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jeweler - United States Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML I agree, your life sucks 74535 You deserved it 43615 443 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Glendale Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML I agree, your life sucks 49029 You deserved it 18969 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while having a break up fight with my fiancée, she informed me that the paternity of our unborn child was in question because one of the other guys couldn't remember if he got off or not. FML I agree, your life sucks 3348 You deserved it 236 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Single - France Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML I agree, your life sucks 40237 You deserved it 6994 269 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dude - United Kingdom Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML I agree, your life sucks 62455 You deserved it 2925 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ... - United States Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 31816 You deserved it 4405 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Suckered - United States - Hialeah Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university 2 years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML I agree, your life sucks 25605 You deserved it 4677 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Surprise Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML I agree, your life sucks 45852 You deserved it 9083 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ChrisD2V - United States Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML I agree, your life sucks 10823 You deserved it 33853 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmyboss People never learn Today, I was made fun of at work by my mom and my supervisor. I work at a kids' anti-bullying camp. FML I agree, your life sucks 1710 You deserved it 185 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Li - United Kingdom - Birmingham Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML I agree, your life sucks 28868 You deserved it 15278 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Woodridge Today, a woman at the retirement home I work at told me she was new and asked me a few questions. I asked her when she moved in. She was a new coworker, not a new resident. FML I agree, your life sucks 15671 You deserved it 12875 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RyanJarmanForPresident - United States Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML I agree, your life sucks 33165 You deserved it 5020 200 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jkjorn | 15 #7445281 - Thursday 27 April 2017 15:28 Stevie takes it, on style points alone! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By E. H. | 14 #7444959 - Wednesday 26 April 2017 22:50 All of these are beautiful! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Vkfan | 28 #7445014 - Thursday 27 April 2017 1:39 I want stevie to the next Olympic games Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By whatshername?! | 38 #7445212 - Thursday 27 April 2017 13:08 Stevie and the last guy Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By jkjorn | 15 #7445281 - Thursday 27 April 2017 15:28 Stevie takes it, on style points alone! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 358 You deserved it 109 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 411 You deserved it 166 4 Comments