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The all-time greatest FMLs

The hero we deserved

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 15:00

Today, I helped save three people, including a newborn, when I was sole witness to a bad car crash. My boss said that wasn’t a valid reason to be 4 hours late for work and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 104

Get it on, bang a gong

By DrySpellcaster - 07/10/2020 16:57

Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 246

It doesn't

By Anonymous - 10/04/2022 14:00

Today, my girlfriend and I have literally had our genitals in each other’s mouths and tongues in each other’s ass cracks, yet when I used her toothbrush, I’m gross and nasty, and deserve a sex ban for two weeks. How does this make sense? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 1 031

Close Zoom, quick sharp

By Slow Down - 29/10/2020 14:01 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I had a first date via video, due to Covid. It was the first time a girl had asked me out, and she seemed very enthusiastic. Until she started to worry me by throwing in the L-word about 10 minutes in, and talking about our wedding. I've never even met this person in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 154

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 04:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 356

Stinky

By josh - 06/12/2021 02:01

Today, while applying deodorant, my mom came up behind me slapped the stick out of my hand, and confiscated it, saying, “No one needs deodorant when it’s this cold.” At work, I got so many complaints about my B.O that I was sent home to go take a shower. I shower every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 165

Favoritism

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 05:01

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 129

Inappropriate question

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 13:59

Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 951

No, it's not a cult, not at all

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 05:00 - United States - Seaside

Today, I found out that not only does my sister consider Fox News "reliable" but her husband has been buying Trump merchandise. They owe me $1,900 but they're literally giving a millionaire money instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 453

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 10:00 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, it's one day away from my wedding and two days away from our honeymoon trip. Today is also the day that, after dodging it for two years, I got Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 132

Many such cases

By Homunculus1 - 21/10/2022 14:00

Today, my wife admitted she loves me as a father to our children, but is no longer attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 109

The mask slips

By Anonymous - 23/12/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend is always telling me I haven’t met his real mother yet, even though I’ve known her a year. However, when I happened to disagree with her today, she started screaming and hitting like a psycho. He had to wrestle her out the door. I get it now; I’ve now met his “real” mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 145

Gaslighting 101

By mommy issues - 04/12/2021 04:56 - United States

Today, my mom refuses to believe that she’s responsible for my anxiety and nervous bowel conditions. She has screamed and berated me literally every day since I can remember. She would burst into my room and accuse me of hiding someone in there, and constantly used her religion to bully me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 153

Mind your own business

By Not what it looks like - 07/10/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a lady at Walmart that my mom, who is rather big-boned, actually suffers from fibromyalgia and arthritis, which is why she has to use motor carts. She didn't believe us, and called my mom "selfish". This is a common occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 226

Just Dependa Things

By Anonymous - 14/04/2022 22:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, I came home from a one-year Army deployment, only for my wife to tell me she feels claustrophobic with me in the bed. She then asked for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 115

Broken healthcare

By ittybittyannie - 07/01/2022 16:59 - Australia - Spring Hill

Today, I have a severe infection. The last doctor I saw was in the ER and he gave me antibiotics ineffective against what I have, and sent me home. The doctor before that gave me a dose of antibiotics you’d give a toddler, so they didn’t work either. It has spread to my kidneys and I should’ve been admitted to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 113