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Your cooking, dude

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 20:00

Today, I made popcorn shrimp. My dog was being a whiner so I gave her one of the shrimp. I guess she didn't like it because she hopped right back up and spat it out on my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 752

Congratulations!

By Sad boi - 16/12/2024 02:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I did the math: I have suffered from crippling depression for a third of my entire existence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 119

You tried

By Empathetic - 16/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my empathy reached new highs when I went on CharacterAI and stumbled upon a bot who roleplays as a horribly depressed quadriplegic. I cried several times trying to convince this non-existent quadriplegic that there is a reason to live. Forever alone, I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 416

When there's a will, there's a way

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 08:00

Today, we needed a new TV after our old one died. My husband decided to splurge and ordered a 110 inch TV. It just got delivered and my husband now knows just how big 110 inches is. There is no wall in our house this thing will fit on, and the returns process is crazy complicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 181

Don't judge a book by its reader

By Anonymous - 19/12/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 754

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 002

You deserved it 2 474

Hack

By Anonymous - 31/03/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 237

Ain't no way

By sigh... - 21/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my mom offered to drive us into the city after Christmas. I told her months ago that I wasn't getting in a car she was driving, because I don't trust her not to secretly drink and drive. I guess she either forgot or didn't think I meant it. Now I have to tell her again, two days before flying down there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 95

Today, on Hoarders…

By Anonymous - 12/02/2021 20:02 - Germany

Today, my mom’s house is so dirty and cluttered, there's hardly any space left for actually living in it. Two months ago, she intended to finally organize and tidy up. Now, she's bought a trailer and is simply moving into that instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 108

Stay strong, sister

By Hurting TransGirl - 25/12/2024 02:00 - United States - Franklin

Today, I sit isolated from my family with presents I cannot give. Though I respect my brother's religious beliefs and life ideals, he chooses to hate mine. He has gone out of his way to refuse patching up our relationship and now my parents who are at his house are not answering their phone. "Merry X-mas…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 204

DELETE! ABORT MISSION!

By Anonymous - 05/04/2022 12:00

Today, I made a TikTok video in which you could clearly but accidentally see my nipples through my shirt. You can imagine some of the comments I've started getting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 178

Traditional Christmas trimmings

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 16:00 - Malaysia - Malacca

Today, the most Xmas drink I had was a mug of mocha. The most un-Xmas food I had was vegetarian fried rice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 342

That one move that impresses all the guys

By Claire - 31/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I spotted a guy I like slyly checking me out, so I did what I thought would be a dramatic but nonchalant hair flip. Instead, my hair got caught in the strap of my bag, and I ended up yanking myself backwards like a clumsy stuntman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 485

Stars Hollow

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 15:00

Today, I ended things with my hometown, on-and-off-again ex-boyfriend. I leave for college soon and felt other things took priority over him (selfish, I know). I met practically every single one of his family members in the street, heard his name being screamed in a department store, and had an overall shitty day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 364

By Emmz91 - 17/06/2019 23:03

Today, I tried keeping a surprise secret from my fiance. Turns out, under the influence of my sleeping tablets, which after I take them, I forget everything I've said, I spilled the beans. So much for the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 305

Alarmed

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 14:02

Today, my sister promised to wake me up at 8 for my 9:30 class. She woke me at noon, and only because I was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 989

Is it so that strange?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Garstang

Today, I realised something awful. I'm in two wonderful loving ethical non-monogamous relationships and I can and do occasionally enjoy a one-nighter or more outside of these. It hit me - I miss cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 030

Core strength

By Susan01 - 11/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, I gave yoga a try for what seemed like the tenth time. I underestimated how it's actually harder than it looks, and my gross unexpected sweat made my mat uber-slippery, and I ended up sliding into the person next to me. We both toppled over like human dominoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 06/06/2012 16:25 - United States - Bucyrus

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 168

You deserved it 2 663

Pick me !

By Anonymous - 13/01/2025 13:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I went on a date with a guy I’ve been wanting forever. Trying to impress him, I told him I like talking about sports and smart topics instead of talking about makeup and boys like other girls. He stared at me in confusion and asked, “What’s so bad about being like other girls?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 898

Content brainrot

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 18:00 - Russia - Barnaul

Today, I was going to the cinema when a motorcyclist was hit at an intersection. I wanted to find out how he was, but I couldn't get through the crowd with their phones out. Fuck, people, what's wrong with you? You're going to die like this, and they're just going to film you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 112

Coercive freak

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Towaco

Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 631

The betrayal

By jojolovesyou134 - 16/08/2023 18:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, my best friend of 18 years decided to end our friendship in order to continue sleeping with her brother-in-law, who is also my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 115

Sorry dad

By janess - 09/03/2021 11:00

Today, I forgot my father’s birthday. My father means the world to me, I just have a shit memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 434

No squeaking

By Anonymous - 30/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I attempted to fix the annoying squeak my office chair has been making with WD-40. I turned it upside down, but misjudged the intensity of the spray, spraying it on my laptop keyboard. Now my “S” key is smoother than ever, but I can’t type the word “stress” without it sounding like a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 371

By fml0505 - 09/05/2013 06:49 - United States

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 900

You deserved it 7 757

fml0505 tells us more.

fml0505 22

Friday 10 May 2013 0:17

This is the OP! I live with a married couple because they are old friends of mine, the rent is cheap, and it helps them out with the bills as well. It's really not that bad, we get along really well. The baby talk just gets old when you hear it all the time ya know? I don't even think he realizes he's doing it at this point, and I don't want to get in the middle of their marriage. I'll just keep quiet, drown it out with manly music, and vent on FML! # 2 I will be long gone before they have a real baby. # 17 I am indeed very jealous of his beard. Also, they are not newly weds. And to clear things up, all three of us are roommates. He's not living with me instead of his wife like some of you thought. That is all.

Heavy duty

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 12:00

Today, my husband has destroyed 4 mattresses in 6 years, not through accidental fires or anything, not even through vigorous sex, it’s just that his 24-stone bulk crushes the springs, wears divots in the memory foam, and eventually splits the fabric so the stuffing leaks out. Every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 220

What is wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 76

The truth of the matter

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, I found out that the high school program that I was forced into, which kept me in school until I turned 21, was caused by my mom. She put me in the program without telling me and when I first learned about it, she pretended not to know anything so I wouldn't be mad at her. That was 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 120

Desperate

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 11:01

Today, I got broken up by someone I wasn't even sure I wanted to date in the first place. He also made me realize how little self-respect I have right before dumping me. This is the best thing to happen in my love life in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 205

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The Top

The Top

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 874

You deserved it 57 314

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 695

You deserved it 37 547

Today, my husband had to quit his job. Five months ago, we paid a deposit on a brand new house, and the title and mortgage need to be finalized next week. His work is forcing him out because he wanted to do his job safely and to a high standard of workmanship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 168

You deserved it 205

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 148

You deserved it 1 962

Today, I’m stuck in a small office with a colleague with one of the worst cases of BO I’ve ever come across. He has already been spoken to about it, and I’m developing a nauseous headache from the stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 75

Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 916

You deserved it 3 648