By Mike - 25/3/2021 00:30 Tears for Fears Today, I realized that not only do I dream about sleeping or passing out, but that those are the best ones. FML I agree, your life sucks 587 You deserved it 63 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML I agree, your life sucks 11975 You deserved it 52073 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By David - 15/8/2020 17:07 No wings Today, I was at work and got chest pains and a headache so bad, I vomited. My supervisor took my blood pressure twice and it was dangerously high both times. I went to the hospital, and after 3 hours of waiting, I got the most expensive lecture ever on drinking too many energy drinks. FML I agree, your life sucks 531 You deserved it 2580 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seatle girl - France - Les Mureaux Today, my six-year-old daughter organized a treasure hunt… for our cat. She hid the contents of an entire bag of cat food all around the house. FML I agree, your life sucks 10552 You deserved it 950 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By powsser - United States Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML I agree, your life sucks 61294 You deserved it 5657 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hbt51 - United States - Blue Ridge Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML I agree, your life sucks 23918 You deserved it 1935 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Space†Witch Today, I'm working a photography gig for a very prominent metal band. The doorman asked me for my I.D, which I happily obliged. I am 27, however I look like I'm still in my mid to late teens. He will not let me in, even with my I.D, and the band that hired me won't answer their phones. FML I agree, your life sucks 2992 You deserved it 183 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Idiocracy - United States Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML I agree, your life sucks 63354 You deserved it 3406 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Audubon Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 35853 You deserved it 3963 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Kitchener Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML I agree, your life sucks 26578 You deserved it 1828 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 26878 You deserved it 4226 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lootz - United States Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML I agree, your life sucks 76204 You deserved it 20087 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Fountain Valley Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML I agree, your life sucks 64411 You deserved it 25364 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch - United Kingdom - Scarborough Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 9075 You deserved it 1065 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I keep failing it all - Lithuania - Vilnius Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML I agree, your life sucks 48834 You deserved it 3934 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oconron - United States Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML I agree, your life sucks 54550 You deserved it 7283 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By timmyb - United States No coffee for you Today, I walked into Starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, as I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, "NO!" There was a 'Now hiring' sign in the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 47249 You deserved it 4985 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dead_Eye - United States Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML I agree, your life sucks 36611 You deserved it 20986 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Carlisle Today, I came home early from work and found my brother in my bed with a girl I've never met. Apparently he's been using my house to hook up with girls while I'm gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 4581 You deserved it 357 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Troy Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML I agree, your life sucks 4279 You deserved it 1647 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hospital - United States Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML I agree, your life sucks 40977 You deserved it 5635 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By U_U - United States Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 55912 You deserved it 5097 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML I agree, your life sucks 32431 You deserved it 2569 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML I agree, your life sucks 44783 You deserved it 5334 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML I agree, your life sucks 32475 You deserved it 5655 299 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lalalalalala - United States Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML I agree, your life sucks 35713 You deserved it 3713 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Whoops Today, my mom decided she wants to try a new family bonding experiment: Being naked around the house for an entire week. She wants us all to eat dinner, watch tv, etc. completely naked. She says she will ground me and my siblings if we don't try it. FML I agree, your life sucks 5060 You deserved it 234 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lolographic24 - Norway Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 25273 You deserved it 4123 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stopinthenameoflove - Ireland - Dublin Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 54979 You deserved it 15372 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 30586 You deserved it 2394 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sith Dad Today, I accompanied my daughter to her classmate's Disney Princess themed birthday party. Minutes in, the celebrant's mother kindly asked us to leave because my daughter was ruining the theme. How? She dressed up as Princess Leia. FML I agree, your life sucks 2842 You deserved it 332 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By moe472 - United States Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 32764 You deserved it 2476 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By vishuzzbabe77 - United States Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 10416 You deserved it 41578 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eww657 - United Kingdom Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML I agree, your life sucks 42190 You deserved it 3852 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hatemyjob - United States Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML I agree, your life sucks 37453 You deserved it 6656 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Santa Fe Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML I agree, your life sucks 30117 You deserved it 4448 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lizzie1833 - United States Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML I agree, your life sucks 32728 You deserved it 5506 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By apple - Netherlands Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 36557 You deserved it 6245 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Maxime - France - Paris Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML I agree, your life sucks 59078 You deserved it 4465 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Bruno Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML I agree, your life sucks 21679 You deserved it 2391 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emkatch - Canada Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML I agree, your life sucks 67631 You deserved it 4343 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wadlaen | 19 #7981222 - Thursday 25 March 2021 10:12 Well, enjoy them then!😅 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Wadlaen | 19 #7981222 - Thursday 25 March 2021 10:12 Well, enjoy them then!😅 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 629 You deserved it 68 8 Comments
Today, I found out that a burglar broke into my house. Since I didn't have expensive stuff for them to steal, they took my Fleshlight. FML I agree, your life sucks 600 You deserved it 114 3 Comments
