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Pervert!

By Nessa - 11/05/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband sniffing my sister’s panties from her laundry basket. He had the gall to defend himself and told me, “If you wore these sexy thongs and cheekies instead of them granny panties, I wouldn’t be doing this.” I wear “granny panties” because I recently gave birth to our daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 166

Sounds like a promoted post

By Anonymous - 09/01/2023 03:00

Today, while I was playing Walkabout Mini Golf on my Meta Quest headset, my battery ran low. I plugged it in the slot, only to learn a valuable lesson about three hours later: The headset doesn't charge if you leave it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 011

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 08:02

Today, I discovered that my work's new phone system automatically takes people off hold the very second you pick up the phone. I discovered this after picking up the phone and complaining to my workmates about the annoying customer I had on the line for a full minute, all while he listened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 2 649

Small guy

By no luck chuck - 09/10/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 980

You deserved it 238

Not an Addams Family person

By Anonymous - 03/01/2023 09:00

Today, my girlfriend spend all day pouting that I wouldn't watch 'Wednesday' with her, despite my giving the pilot a chance and hating it. Yet when I choose a show, I usually get five seconds before, "What is this? I don't like it! Turn it off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 254

Nitwit

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 22:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, I accidentally started a fire in my apartment's bathroom while I was high. Last night my girlfriend and I had a chat about how she can't trust me 100%. I feel like an absolute idiot and she's rightfully upset with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 944

Stand your ground

By No justice anywhere - 26/11/2025 12:00

Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 64

Help out!

By Anonymous - 08/06/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I’ve been doing our family tree, it's become clear to me that every man who has married into my wife’s family for at least 4 generations has died within 15 years of the wedding. It’s our 13th anniversary next month. Two years to go. Someone help me by keeping their fingers crossed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 75

Can't win

By Viscerion - 31/01/2023 00:30

Today, I made breakfast for the family. Perfect. Did all the Laundry. Great. Drove the one and a half hour round trip to take my stepdaughter to work. Blah. Finished off by doing some housework and cooking dinner. The dinner wasn't perfect, and my wife told me that for all the good I do, I ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 126

It's all downhill from here

By Go Mom...?! - 10/06/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I'm a 20 year-old guy, and my 52 year-old mom has aged really well and looks around the same age as me. Meanwhile, I'm aging poorly and fear that I may soon look as old as she actually is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 125

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 03:00

Today, my girlfriend is actually mad at me for not noticing she was two months pregnant. Since we met she’s always had a bit of a belly, and her default clothing is always a big hoodie or dressing gown, she even wears jumpers to bed, so how was I supposed to spot that tiny bit of weight gain? FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 99

By therosalina - 01/10/2018 17:30 - United States - Duluth

Today, my dad moved my car onto the street so he wouldn't accidentally back into it while moving our boat. My neighbor backed into it instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 899

You deserved it 178

Brain worms

By JaneSimple - 16/08/2020 14:02

Today, my fiancé forgot my birthday. I did however remember to tell him we were sending his mother flowers, for her birthday, which falls a week after mine. We've been together 10 years. I sent her flowers on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 235

Sticky

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 20:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while at work, I was driving a manual car for the third time ever. I managed to stall it and jolt forward, bumping the horn at the same time in front of a group of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 245

Vampires are everywhere

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 23:01 - United States - Columbus

Today, at 1:30 a.m., a big ass bat squeezed its nasty body through the bottom crack of the door. My sweet little Corgi cowered on the bed as the bat flew circles around my head. I'll be moving now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 245

Weird

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 00:00

Today, to anyone else who thinks court can be weird, I say this: I just had to testify in court about my penis because it was relevant to the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 95

Enlightened centrism

By Anonymous - 27/11/2021 20:01

Today, I asked my right-of-center best friend what exactly he hates about Critical Race Theory. His only coherent answer was, “It’s too critical!” This is my son’s godfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 476

Reunited

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 141

Home alone

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 17:00

Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch, who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 1 441

Crasher

By ReneG - 10/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to get married to the love of my life. My ex-wife ended up crashing my wedding and created drama. My now-ex-fiancée decided she wants nothing to do with me anymore, and that, "if she wanted baggage, she’d go to an airport.” She walked out of the wedding and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 164

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 23:01 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to drink several shots of vodka after taking a pill that makes you sick when you drink. She puked all night and then blamed me for making her sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 166

Carly Rae Jepsen

By Anonymous - 15/07/2024 00:00

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 265

Can't turn it off

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 23:01

Today, I got a new job where one of my co-workers is someone I have been in love with for over 5 years now. She's married but my feelings for her just won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 799

Preventive measures

By Anonymous - 22/09/2020 02:02

Today, I was minding my own business when the guy I have a crush on sat down next to me at work, explained that he heard that I had a crush on him and that he was flattered, but that we should "be friends" because I'm a "nice girl". I was rejected by someone I didn't even pursue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 189

Cats with jobs

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 15:00

Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 979

Prickly

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 06:00 - India - Vijayawada

Today, I was rejected from a job for which I was perfectly qualified, as it was in my area of expertise. The interviewer was the most annoying prick and kept on talking and "helping" me debug from the moment I opened the technical task. I ended up asking him to please shut up so that I could think for a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 330

Give me a break

By No love here - 09/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband called me selfish and ungrateful then canceled the cruise he’d booked as a surprise. I only asked if we could get a sitter for the kids. I’m a stay at home mom who homeschools and co-sleeps. We never get a single minute alone, so excuse me for wanting some adult time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 275 660

You deserved it 88 486

911 is a joke

By ouch - 25/12/2021 14:01

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and somehow managed to pull a back muscle. I’ve been naked for 3 hours, scared to move because it hurts so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 211

He's let himself go

By whatwasithinking - 14/10/2020 17:01

Today, I took my kids to our local swimming pool. When we arrived, there were several cop cars parked outside and a group of officers interrogating a creepy, haggard-looking old man who was in handcuffs on the bench. As we got closer, I realized the man was my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 156

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The Top

Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 287

You deserved it 3 649

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 431

You deserved it 4 389

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 215

You deserved it 2 666

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 614

You deserved it 7 487

Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 2 229

Today, I’m at home, sick with a really bad sinus and ear infection. If I'd gone to the clinic earlier, then it wouldn’t have spread to my ears, but my boss wouldn’t let me take a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 149