The Top

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Inflation woes

By DevoutOccamist - 31/10/2022 00:00

Today, after I got a great job at my asking salary, my boss then quit without telling me my salary was maxed out. I learned this when, two years in a row, I got a 1% raise because I'm redlined. With inflation, my take-home pay has dropped by 15% in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 156

Flipped the bird

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 05:59

Today, a client walked into my store with a duck in her hands. I had to explain to her that she couldn't bring the bird shopping with her. We got a 1-star review. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 142

Stop stealing Kias!

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I watched a video of the absolute dumbest and most dangerous TikTok trends, and I practically lost all my faith in humanity. Then, when I remembered that almost all of these people are/were around my age (I'm eighteen), and whatever faith in humanity I had left after watching the video completely vanished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 277

It's called fashion Dave, look it up

By Bogrbon - 21/04/2020 14:00

Today, since we can’t go out due to the quarantine, my wife decided she wanted to shave my back with a razor. Two hours later, I have a sore back and I look like I'm wearing the front half of the worlds ugliest sweater vest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 337

Human! Come quick!

By He got a lot of treats for that - 09/03/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 149

So selfish

By Anonymous - 26/04/2020 14:00

Today, my family yelled at me for being a "selfish disappointment." My crime? Not being able to help my sister's boyfriend do his homework while I'm working on my class finals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 135

Step on the gas

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I parked in a disabled bay so I could drop my son off at his appointment. My son uses crutches and has a blue badge. As I was trying to leave, an absolute Karen started chewing my ass for using a disabled bay while “not looking disabled”, then lay under my wheels to stop me leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 88

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 564

Hell no!

By Anonymous - 14/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 217

Rise and shine

By Anonymous - 29/04/2020 08:00

Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 282

Olde timey reddish flagge

By Red flag? - 22/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was all set to attend my first renaissance faire ever. I took forever customizing the perfect costume and I couldn’t wait. My boyfriend on the other hand was pissed that it was too revealing, so he left me standing at the front gate, refused to give me my ticket, and went in without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 101

You can't win

By fatty fatfuck - 10/05/2020 17:00

Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 306

You deserved it 233

This is fine

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00

Today, it's been over 3 months since I've had a day off. I suppose that's what happens when you run someone else's business, run your own business, and have a child. I make $410 a week. Rent is $400. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 199

Snooping around

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 20:00

Today, I found out the heartbreaking truth of why my husband won’t have sex with me. He cheated, got an STD, and is now waiting for it to clear up before he touches me again. When I confronted him, he flipped out and wrecked the house because I invaded his privacy by going into his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 83

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 401

Streaky

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 02:00

Today, my 3 year-old saw the stretch marks on my stomach and proudly exclaimed, "Bacon!" After talking with my husband, he admitted that he agreed with our son's evaluation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 172

STOP. IT. NOW.

By Anonymous - 01/09/2021 22:01

Today, it's been four days since I told my husband how much I dislike the term "baby mama". It's also been four days since he started calling me "my baby mama". We don't even have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 152

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 845

**** you, Susan

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 10:00

Today, I washed all the dishes that had been piling in the sink over the week, and set them in the drying rack before I left for school. I came home to see that my dad’s girlfriend had put them back into the sink, along with her dirty dishes. She told me to re-wash them. Why? “They didn’t smell clean.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 126

Plans

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 02:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex asked me to take the kids for the day, which was odd as it's her weekend. My son let slip that she was getting ready for a surprise birthday party, but I wasn't supposed to know. As it's my birthday in 3 days, I was touched that she'd planned something. Turns out it's a surprise party for her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 505

Galaxy brain take

By Oragami - 12/06/2020 14:07

Today, a customer told me it was bullshit we couldn't serve coffee because of the COVID restrictions, and added that the protests and riots happening are because people are bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 261

Sweet Sixteen

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 13:59 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 106

Plumes

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 06:00

Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 186

Thanks UPSDHLFML

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 04:59

Today, my friend received a package I sent her by mail. The package was already ripped open on arrival, two out of the three blouses I sent her were missing and a limited edition glass cup I sent her with the apparel was smashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 81

Slipped up

By hate my job - 24/09/2021 20:00

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 995

Mind your beeswax, Karen

By Anonymous - 22/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 180

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 02:02

Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 307

All I want for Christmas is free healthcare

By effmylife - 25/12/2022 00:00

Today, I’ve been battling an aggressive form of cancer for the past 3 years. Due to the financial strain, I started a GoFundMe. I’m grateful for what I got, but a friend also started one for her dog’s surgery and got thousands of dollars. Guess the dog is more important than my kids having a mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 216

Oh no!

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 09:00

Today, I had gotten a Costco style pumpkin pie and whipped cream for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and stepdad ended up so stuffed from the main course of the dinner that they didn't want the pie. I got that stuff for them specifically. I'll have to eat the pie myself so it doesn't go to waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 171

Liability

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 11:00

Today, my friend broke ties with me after I came out of the hospital from attempted suicide. She was the one who called the police for me to go in there in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 337

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 675

You deserved it 37 711

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 865

You deserved it 6 538

Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so gave it a go to see what it smelled like. It's currently the peak season, and so I had quite a few clients in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 102

You deserved it 23 331

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 898

You deserved it 4 575

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!" She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 030

You deserved it 25 370

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 292

You deserved it 45 066