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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    By zaneey - 17/01/2009 18:41 - Australia

    Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 7 676
    You deserved it 42 797
    Share  

    By Alex - 16/01/2009 09:40 - United States

    Today, I decided to ride my bike to the bus stop to go to school. I wasn't even half way and the last bus had already left. I figured I would loop around instead of going back the way I came and ended up riding 16 miles before I got home. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 7 943
    You deserved it 20 219
    Share  

    By Celina - 12/01/2009 09:55 - United States

    Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 813
    You deserved it 5 386
    Share  

    By mark - 11/01/2009 02:11 - France

    Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 037
    You deserved it 9 401
    Share  

    By Noname - 09/01/2009 11:21 - United States

    Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 245
    You deserved it 4 243
    Share  

    By sel2207 - 06/01/2009 03:27 - France

    Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 200
    You deserved it 2 577
    Share  

    By titou - 05/01/2009 03:33 - France

    Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 736
    You deserved it 32 690
    Share  

    Make the most of it

    By Godmish - 02/01/2009 05:37 - France

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 31 628
    You deserved it 2 758
    Share  

    By Jared - 01/01/2009 08:49 - France

    Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 22 743
    You deserved it 9 307
    Share  

    By Olive - 19/12/2008 04:11 - France

    Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 8 337
    You deserved it 40 778
    Share  

    By greg76 - 07/12/2008 03:49 - France

    Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 085
    You deserved it 10 095
    Share  

    By CoCo - 22/11/2008 04:03 - France

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 197
    You deserved it 11 649
    Share  

    By Dothy - 17/11/2008 09:54 - France

    Today, I had an important appointment for a job. During the interview, my cellphone rang. My ringtone is "Denver, the last Dinosaur". FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 191
    You deserved it 31 851
    Share  

    By Lud@l - 25/10/2008 16:56

    Today, though it’s been a month since I removed the plaster from my wrist, it still stinks of feet. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 874
    You deserved it 6 457
    Share  

    Where am I?

    By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

    Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 999
    You deserved it 108 995
    Share  
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    Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 14 696
    You deserved it 1 049
    Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 095
    You deserved it 1 849
    Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 61 259
    You deserved it 4 783
    Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 729
    You deserved it 3 614
    Today, I was commenting on my boyfriend’s page, telling him how much I loved him and missed him since he had been deported back to his country. A 12-year-old girl commented, “Who are you and why are you so obsessed with my daddy?” I didn’t know he had kids. We were together for 3 years. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 497
    You deserved it 532
    Today, I had to blow my nose at a jazz jam session. I blew my nose so hard that I blew the major third over a minor chord and everyone started throwing full bottles of beer at me. Fuck you. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 187
    You deserved it 434
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